


One Teaboy Too Many Pasts

by Alas_Poor_Yorick



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Ianto, Beta Wanted, For All my stuff actually, Ianto's Family, M/M, Q is a Holmes, please inbox me! I need second opinions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2389727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alas_Poor_Yorick/pseuds/Alas_Poor_Yorick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto Jones was just the Teaboy and archivist at Torchwood Cardiff, right? Wrong,completely and utterly wrong. Ianto has finally had enough of his treatment at Torchwood 3 and quits, completely unexpectedly to the rest of the team. However in the aftermath of his resignation, the 4 remaining members of the team discover more about the quiet presence that acted as administrative support and what they find is shocking. Meanwhile, Ianto gets the life he loves back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What the Past Holds

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a complete AU from the Torchwood storyline and in this, Cyberwoman never happened. Ianto's age is also slightly altered for the purposes of the plot. Sadly, Skyfall,Sherlock,Torchwood, or the Avengers are not mine and never ever will be. I hope you enjoy & comments are always appreciated!

\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---  
"I'm done, Jack," Ianto bellowed as the door of the captain's office closed behind him. He stormed down the steps and into the hub, as he intended to gather his bag. Just as he went to retrieve the item he heard running footsteps pounding behind.  
In a desperate attempt to escape further confrontation, he gathered his bag haphazardly and placed his gun and ID on the nearest desk. He turned and tried to race to the door, but just as he thought he would make it, a strong hand gripped onto Ianto's wrist and held it fast, trying to pull him back. Ianto stood his ground as he faced the confused,saddened look upon Jack's face.

"I'll send in my letter of resignation, sir."

Jack wasn't giving up though," Why, Ianto? Where will you go?" The Teaboy's face went into the blank butler mask that seemed to be a permanent fixture on Ianto's features.

"Don't you know,sir?" Jack shook his head in confusion. Ianto sighed in resignation,"Then I guess you will find out later. I have been offered two positions and I am able to pick which I will take, my future boss or bosses will contact you."  
By this time,Jack's grip had loosened, so Ianto was able to pull his arm away. He began to walk away, but just as he reached the hub door he turned.

"Have a good life, Jack, and give the team my regards." With a sharp nod to his now former boss, he walked out and the hub entrance closed with the sound of the alarm. The only thing Jack was left to do was stare distantly at the place Ianto had last stood. He also had a looming feeling in his gut that that was the last time he would see Ianto for a long time.

~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-  
Ianto stood on the Roald Dahl Plass contemplating his current situation. He could always go back to his position with Mycroft,which would be fun, and he would get to spend more time with friends in London. He hadn't seen Quentin, or Q, and James since before Canary Wharf. However, he did have the option of returning to his position at SHIELD, which would be equally as nice. He hadn't seen his father, Clint or Natasha in a while, not to mention Fury. Ianto tilted his head and suddenly he had a solution. He pulled out his phone and dialed Mycroft's private line. It rang three times before the man in question picked up.  
"Mr.Jones, what can I do for you today?"

"Mr.Holmes, is that position you keep offering me still open?"

"Indeed, Ianto, it always is. Tired of your wayward sprint as Intel at Torchwood for SHIELD?"

"Of course, why else would I be calling? I would like to accept the public relations and planning position you have been badgering me about, but with a few minor stipulations."

"Excellent, however what stipulations are we talking about?"

"My father and Fury have thought of a solution to my dilemma. They suggest I maintain a position in SHIELD as the UK correspondent while working for you. Thus, taking away a minor amount of time from the hours I agree to work for you. The time, however, would generally be ,ideally,minimal."

"Very well, when should I expect to see you in White Hall?"

"Expect me in a two or three weeks. I do need time to find a flat in London. If you have any suggestions, do inform me. I will call the day before I come in."

"Wonderful, Mr.Jones. It will be fantastic to have you back."

"Indeed, Sir. Give Anthea my regards. Also, tell Quentin and James that I will be contacting them soon"

"Very well, Ianto, see you in about three weeks."

With that, Mycroft hung up the phone and Ianto smiled slightly. He then dialed his father's number, more specifically Phil Coulson's number.

"Ianto, how are you?" Phil was slightly worried as he answered his son's call, since he rarely called his private number.

"I'm fine, Tad. I'm just calling to tell you that I've decided to quit Torchwood and reclaim my position with Mycroft. However I was able to have Holmes agree to let me be SHIELD's UK correspondent. So on my behalf, congratulate Nick for dragging me back into SHIELD affairs."

Phil laughed quietly. "As long as you're ok."

Ianto smiled,"Tell Clint and Natasha that I say hello and to drop by London sometime. See you soon."

"Yep, see you soon."

Phil hung up the phone and smiled again, time to call the Director and tell him Agent Jones was back with SHIELD. Finally.

After he hung up Ianto smirked and walked off the Plass. It was time to catch a train and go to London. Goodbye Torchwood!  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~-  
As Ianto boarded his train to London the next morning, the Torchwood team filtered into the HUB.  
"Oye, Teaboy! Coffee!" Owen called as he walked out of the medical bay looking for the missing member of Torchwood 3. Tosh looked up from the device she was examining, wondering the same thing Owen was. Where was Ianto? Jack walked out of his office, miserable.  
"He's not here. He quit, last night. Apparently I'll be getting an e-mail soon from his new boss and a letter or e-mail from Ianto himself for his resignation." Jack paused and frowned ,"He also said to look into his file, as I don't know where he'll be working, but apparently there's something to be found in the file. He indicated that there was a position or two waiting for him."  
Myfanway, Ianto's beloved pteradon, cooed sadly, as if confirming the Captain's statement. Tosh looked devastated, while Owen looked more confused then anything.

"But,Jack, doesn't he need to be retconned?"

Harkness sighed,"No,Owen. The required dose of retcon to erase 8 years of memories would likely kill him. He, obviously, knew this, as he didn't ask about the 'required' protocol when he left. Either way he's gone and he's likely not coming back."

Tosh had tears streaming down her face and Owen was frowning rather severely. Jack shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

"I'll inform you when I receive the correspondence from his employer and Ianto, I'll also tell you what I find in his file, if I can." Jack nodded sharply to the two of them and walked up the steps leading to his office.

As Jack closed the door to his office, Gwen walked into the HUB and sat down at her desk without a thought or care about her missing coworker.  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~-  
Meanwhile, the captain sat at his desk with his chin resting on his hands. He was thinking, why would Ianto want to leave? He couldn't think of any reason, but before he could consider anything further, his e-mail chimed. Then once more and once more. He clicked into his inbox and read the headers of the new messages. The first title read,"Job Transfer," which was from Mycroft Holmes, the damned British government bureaucrat. The second also read,"Job Transfer," but this one was from Phil Coulson. The last one was from Ianto himself and was titled "Resignation Letter and File." Jack opened the one from Holmes first, which read:

"Captain Harkness,  
I am e-mailing you to inform you that your former employee, Ianto Jones, is now a member of my staff in charge of public relations and planning. He is in the process of moving to London as a result and will no longer be residing in Cardiff. Thank you for your time.  
Sincerely,  
Mycroft Holmes"

He then opened the second one from Coulson:

"Captain Harkness,  
I am e-mailing to further extend Mr.Holmes' message of Ianto Jones' transfer. In addition to serving under Mr.Holmes, Jones will serving as SHIELD's UK correspondent and will no longer have any contact with Torchwood, as a result.  
Regards,  
Agent Coulson of SHIELD"

He then got to the e-mail he was anticipating most, Ianto's:

"Sir,  
I apologize for the abruptness of my departure from my position at Torchwood 3, but I have my reasons. I do not feel I am a good match for the team you have built. Now with the addition of Miss.Cooper on the team, my presence should not be missed. In addition, I have other obligations which I have neglected to fulfill while doing my job at Torchwood. It is past high time that I finish and continue past responsibilities. My employers should have contacted you by now. If there are any further questions about my former duties as administrative support, please consult the archives, for I have left a copy of my former typical schedule.  
Sincerely,  
Ianto Jones"

Jack felt pained as he read the overly stiff formally stated e-mail, but only sighed softly in response. Then,without further ado, Jack opened the attached file and started to read. As he read, he realized, for the first time, what an enigma Ianto Jones really was.  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---  
Jack hurried down the steps from his office and called,"Conference room, meeting, now," to the remaining members of his team before hurrying on to the mentioned destination. Tosh and Owen looked at each other before nodding and moving to follow their leader to the conference room. Gwen just looked baffled, but shrugged and went to follow her teammates. Everyone took their seats at the table and that was the first time Gwen noticed that one of her colleagues was missing, but only, once again, shrugged in response. She assumed that he was in the archives or making their coffee.  
After a few minutes of silence, the only sound being Jack flipping through a solitary file in his hand, Gwen turned to him and asked,"New case, Jack?" Jack lifted his head and looked up at her with a scarily neutral expression. He shook his head and sighed, something he seemed to be doing quite often as of late.  
"No, Gwen. If you had been here earlier then you would have heard that Ianto has officially resigned from his position as administrative support at Torchwood 3 as of last night," Gwen opened her mouth to  
speak, but Jack held up his hand as he further explained," No, he cannot be retconned, because I know you were about to ask. The reason he cannot be retconned is the amount of memories from Torhwood he has. The dosage required to wipe all those years would likely kill him and nothing he has done has warranted the other option, death. He has taken up two positions that have been offered to him. Before he left, he also hinted that he had quite the past and he sent a file with his final e-mail. I assume as appeasement for the distinct lack of retcon. Anyway, I never expected quite the past this file hints at."  
Jack smacked the folder on the palm of his hand for emphasis," I feel obliged to share the information presented, since he was your colleague as well. Either way, Ianto has noted that it's fine that I share it, as long as it NEVER leaves the Hub. Am I clear?" He looked at each person seated who nodded in return and Jack finally nodded himself. "Very well, let's begin, shall we? Born August 9th in Cardiff, Wales, Ianto Jones is the son of Phil Coulson and a mother who remains anonymous on paper. His godfather is Nick Fury. He has one sister, Rhiannon, who has a different father, same mother. He grew up with his stepfather, mother, and sister in Wales. His step father worked in Debbenhams and leaned toward alcoholism. Verbal abuse and possible physical abuse by his stepfather were suspected, but never proven. He was a bright child, but an average student and was convicted of shoplifting once as a teen after his mother passed."  
Jack paused and looked around,"Comments so far?"  
Tosh looked stricken and Owen looked pained, but none the less shocked. Under her breath Tosh whispered," He was abused as a child?"  
Owen looked at Jack and said," It would make sense, while doing his pyshical, I saw some scars and marks that were likely from childhood, seeing as to how they had faded. However that's not what I have questions about. The Nick Fury who's his godfather, is that the same Nick Fury, bad ass extraordinaire, who runs SHIELD?" Jack nodded an affirmative and Owen continued to speak," I've also heard of Coulson, the high ranking SHIELD agent and Fury's right hand, I assume that's also the same one I'm thinking of?" Jack nodded his head and Owen shook his head as he muttered,"Bloody hell, Teaboy is the son and godson of secret agents. Bloody hell..."  
Gwen remained silent throughout the exchange. She only wondered why they were looking at this if Ianto was gone. If he wasn't here, what did it matter. He stayed in the shadows while he was here anyway. With him gone she might actually have a chance with Jack, which all most made her quiver with anticipation and excitement.  
While Gwen was thinking this, Jack grinned half heartedly in response to Owen,"Trust me, Owen, it gets far more interesting, this is only the beginning."  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---  
As the Torchwood team sat down to inspect the background of their former Teaboy, Ianto sat down to an entirely different meeting. A meeting specifically with one of his bosses, Mycroft Holmes, and the current head of MI6, Gareth Mallory,or M.  
The odd trio sat in a pristine office decorated with the best of old world furniture, discussing the same thing Torchwood 3 was, Ianto Jones. Holmes and Jones sat next to each other, seated across from a grand oak desk, where Mallory occupied the other side. Gareth turned to face the youngest attendee and tilted his head in a curious manner,"So I assume there's still no chance of you rejoining the Double O program, Mr.Jones?"  
Jones only snorted with humor in response and shook his head,"No way, Mallory. I refuse to end up like Bond and Q."  
M narrowed his eyes and asked,"And how's that?"  
"Stuck in MI6 until the end of my natural life. I got out just in time!" The two men smirked at each other.  
However, M also snorted in derision,"And like you ended up any better then you would have been at MI6. Now you're practically stuck with 3 agencies, Torchwood, SHIELD, and Mr.Holmes himself."  
Ianto nodded in acknowledgement,"True, indeed. Touché, Mr.Mallory." The two men gestured in mutual respect.  
Mycroft sighed and stood, he turned to look at M,"Either way, Ianto works for me, not you. Do not think of getting him back involved in MI6 affairs. Lord knows he's already been dragged back in to SHIELD problems. Good day, Mallory, if that will be all." Mycroft shook hands and then turned on his heels and walked out. Ianto reached across the table and shook his former boss's hand.  
"I also have to take my leave, sir. Thank you for meeting with myself and Mr.Holmes. In addition, thank you for your advice as to how to handle my new positions. If Mr.Holmes has further discussion points, he will call."  
Mallory nodded again and smiled slightly at the young man standing across from him,"Good luck, Ianto."  
Ianto smiled back before walking away and closing the door to the office behind him. He met Mycroft outside on the steps of the building.  
"See you in another 2 weeks at White Hall, Mr.Jones. Thank you for attending this meeting with me."  
They shook hands before Mycroft slid into the awaiting black car and drove off. With that, Ianto hurried off to a cafe to meet up with a few more long missed, close friends. Life was finally looking up again for Ianto Jones.  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---  
Back at Torchwood, three people sat around the table gaping at each other, while the fourth sat looking sadly at the file in his hand. Tosh was muttering,"Oh my god," under her breath, while Owen seemed to be trying to absorb the facts presented to him. Gwen looked hugely surprised, but none the less, extremely bored.  
Owen finally took a deep breath and started to talk, "So let me get this straight," Jack nodded for him to continue,"Ianto Jones, former Teaboy of Torchwood 3, is the son of a secret agent, Godson of the head of SHIELD, former agent of MI6 on a classified level, former agent of SHIELD, also on a classified level, and former high ranking employee of, basically, the British government. In addition, he is now, once again, a high ranking employee of the British government and has reclaimed a position at SHIELD. Is that correct?" The medic looked questioningly at Jack, who signalled his agreement with Owen's statement.  
"Bloody hell," the doctor whispered under his breath,"And why did he resign?"  
Jack looked forlorn at the question,"He felt he wasn't a true member of the team and that he didn't fit in with the group dynamic. He also felt he had responsibilities else where," Jack frowned,"But what I don't understand is why he felt that way..."  
Tosh looked incredulously at her boss,"You're joking, right?" Jack confusedly shook his head.  
Tosh huffed, but explained none the less,"He was right in the fact that he never was made a part of the team. When trying to get the job in the first place he had to beg, all because of your predetermined opinion of anyone from Torchwood 1," Tosh looked accusingly at Jack, who had the grace to look slightly ashamed, before continuing,"Then, he gets hired for a goddamn cup of coffee and a pterodactyl hunt. Your biggest reason being trying to get into his pants,though. A great start, right? But no, it gets better. He gets the job and then is basically forced to remain a shadow in the background. He reorganized the mess of what we used to call archives, which was a gigantic job in itself, without a hint of thanks. Then he was made to serve as the butler, cleaning up everyone's crap and making coffee drinks at the wave of our hands, while we all sat back and ignored him. When the team went out to the pub, he was NEVER, offered an invitation to go, despite the fact that he served as essential backup for fieldwork and was basically a human alien encyclopedia, which made him a vital part of the team. Then, when Gwen was hired, EVERYONE made sure she felt welcomed and like a true part of Torchwood. When she messed up hugely she wasn't reprimanded, but Ianto was punished for the smallest of mistakes. Last year, we also ignored or forgot the fact that it was the Anniversary of the Battle at Canary Wharf, which I find truly terrible, considering what he had to go through. After the cannibals, not one of you checked up on Ianto. You saw how he was, tied up with countless injuries, internal and external, yet Owen didn't even bother to glance at him. And you know why? Because Gwen had a minor gunshot wound to the shoulder. He went to the hospital afterward, so I decided to hack in and check the digital records and you know what I found? I found that he had sustained 3 broken ribs, a sprain in his ankle, dislocated right shoulder, some internal bleeding, and a high level concussion, along with damage to his ear drum. Not to mention extensive bruising and scratching.", Owen and Jack looked horrified as they listened to Tosh,"And you know what? He was in here the day we all came back, despite the fact that he shouldn't have been anywhere near the Hub,and Gwen wasn't in work until the week after the incident. He, also, had an affair with you," she pointed at the captain,"And some of us made fun of him for it, Owen calling him the 'Part Time Shag' along with a slurry of other offensive nicknames and he was never told to stop it," Tosh narrowed her eyes," Ianto was used and abused, and ignored and mistreated throughout the entire duration he worked here. Now you tell me, why did he resign?"  
Tosh glowered and glared around the table before turning on her heel and walking out of the room, but she paused before exiting,"And you know what's sad? I didn't realize until last week and had just started to try and fix the damage. The sad part is that I didn't realize right away. Now I'm going to go see if I can find him or get in touch so I can apologize properly and attempt to remedy my mistakes." And on that note, the enraged computer genius exited the room full of her chastised and aghast colleagues.  
Her colleagues, on the other hand sat there frozen, Owen looking truly remorsefulremorseful for once. Jack looked flabbergasted and horrified and desperate to try and prove the accusations wrong, or fix them out right. Gwen looked angry at the offensive words spoken about her, not in the least worried about her former coworker. All in all, Torchwood was a mess without Ianto and they were only realizing their errors after it was too late.  
\---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---  
Ianto laughed as the young man and the older man sitting across the table scowled at him.  
"So I see you two finally got your heads out of your arses and got together. When did you ask him out, James?"  
"A few months ago, Ianto, not like it's any of your business anyway," Ianto smirked, which resulted in Q laughing at the antics of his friend and boyfriend,"Anyway, how are you? I haven't seen you since you went to SHIELD."  
"And I haven't seen you since you went over to Torchwood 1, which was years ago," Q leaned forward,"So really, in all honesty, how have you been?"  
Ianto slumped a little and looked down at the table's surface then shrugged and muttered 'fine.'  
James tutted,"Now, dear, I know you can use your words, but since you seem unwilling to, Q and I will start." The Double O agent and the Quartermaster looked worriedly at each other, both noting the reluctance and trepidatious expression on their friend's face.  
"Anyway," James continued,"This week I went to Budapest and met a lovely dignitary, who also happened to be extremely corrupted, which was nice. Hm... I, also,saw two friends of yours, Natalie and Bart, I believe. They said they would see you soon. And how about you,Q?"  
Q shrugged,"A little hacking, a little programming, a little weapon design, a bit of this and that. The usual."  
Ianto glared at the couple,"You two are disgustingly domestic, already. Its truly disturbing."  
James smirked while Q cooed condescendingly at the young man,"Isn't it just though?" The pair looked at each other before James leaned over to kiss Q on the cheek. This only made Ianto scowl harder. Q's expression then turned serious.  
"Now, really, Ianto, how have you been?"  
Ianto sighed,"Not well."  
James frowned,"How do you mean?"  
The corner of Ianto's mouth curled up slightly, but without humor,"Where do you want me to start?"  
Q offered,"At the beginning is generally a good place."  
He nodded before opening his mouth to start. And so began the tale of the recent past of Ianto Jones.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---  
Jack sat at his desk with his feet up as he listened morosely to the director of SHIELD, Nick Fury.  
"Captain Harkness, as Agent Jones is no longer an employee of yours, the further details of his file are no longer your concern. Whatever he showed you was what he was allowed to share or willing to share with the members of his former team. As this is the case, why the hell are you inquiring about my godson's file?"  
"I just wanted to know more about his life, so I could figure out some issues."  
"Well, now, that would've been damn useful when he was still working for you, wouldn't it?" And then the director hung up. Jack just sighed in resignation.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---  
James gritted his teeth, while Q's furious frown deepened as he gripped his mug tighter. Ianto held a blank expression as he finished the story of recent events. An awkward pause held as each man sorted through his own thoughts. Quentin was the first to speak.  
"Ianto Jones, are you telling me that you fought through the battle of Canary Wharf, lost the love of your life, served as a butler to an undeserving group of ingrates, that were supposedly your colleagues, and went through it alone without calling us," he gestured between 007 and himself and then glared at the Welshman,"And further, I'm sure you had horrific nightmares and flashbacks and went through it without any help?" Ianto nodded tiredly, as if all his built up emotion had finally left its vessel of confimement, and his eyes spoke volumes too. The young man had accepted his undeserved penance. The two members of MI6 read this on his features, which only upset them more. James stood up only to have Q pull him down again. James glared at his boyfriend.  
"C'mon, Q, I have a license to kill and I found some people more deserving of it then most of my targets. Let's go to Cardiff, I'm sure we can find Torchwood 3. You can find it, then 006 can help me! I'm sure he'll be willing to!"  
Ianto sighed in response, "No, its all right. Its over and I'm never going back to that hell of a workplace, in addition some of them don't deserve it."  
Q scowled,"But Ianto, you had an affair with your boss and he discarded you like trash, apparently he has the reputation for it, and then he ignores you the rest of the time! Why would you do that to yourself? Do you even have feelings for him left?" Ianto's answer was definitive silence. A set of green eyes and a set of ice blue eyes grew incredulous as they looked at him.  
"Oh my god, you do! What the hell, Jones?!"  
Ianto's expression showed all his desperation as he threw his hands up in exasperation, "I don't fecking know, ok?! I can't goddamn well help it, can I? And even worse, I'm still mourning Lisa's death at Canary Wharf." Ianto dropped his head into his hands. James frowned in concern as he reached across the table to grip the Welshman's shoulder reassuringly.  
"Don't worry , boffin, instead of focusing on that arsehole of an old boss, Q and I will just have to help you. Won't we, Q?" The couple grinned conspiratorly at each other. Ianto tried to hide his small smile as he looked at them, but failed spectacularly and shook his head.  
"And that, gentlemen, is my queue to leave. I have to go flat shopping, so I'll see you soon. Lunch again next week?" James nodded and stood to hug the ex-00. Q did the same and hugged his best friend. Ianto turned to go, but the Quartermaster stopped him.  
"By the way, Ianto , tell my bastard bureaucrat of a brother that if he tries to have his staff hack my systems again, then he can expect his entire contact list to mysteriously malfunction and disappear," Q smiled pleasantly, as if the statement was normal, which made Ianto burst out laughing.  
"I'll tell Mycroft just that, and give Sherlock my greetings. And ,James, tell 006 and Miss.Moneypenny that I say hello." The trio smiled at each other, before Ianto finally left.  
After his figure disappeared from view, the two remaining people turned to each other.  
"So, Q, who can we set our darling Mr.Jones up with? Male or female? Oh, so many options!" James smiled slyly at his companion, who chuckled.  
"For this, 007, we need a certain Eve Moneypenny."  
Then, with ideas and plans in place , the pair also departed from the restaurant.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---& A Week Later  
Ianto sat in one of the many pubs throughout London, nursing a pint. He was the only occupant of a high seated 4 person booth. Ianto had finally found a flat he liked for decent rent, so he had made an offer on the spot, which was accepted, and started moving his belongings from the storage unit they had temporarily resided in. Most of the furniture was in the apartment and in its place, only the details remained. He would paint when he got the chance and the kitchen appliances were usable, but rusty and old fashioned, so those might have to be updated, too. A new coffee machine was a must. He hummed to himself quietly as he thought. He was just about to go home when he felt a light tap on the shoulder, to which he turned in response.  
A trio stood in front of him, two men, one woman. The woman was an uncommon category of deadly beauty with brilliantly red hair that fell in curls around her shoulders, piercing green eyes, a flawless porcelain complexion, and full naturally pink lips. Her posture screamed danger and the tight figure flattering black cocktail dress and red patent leather stilettos only exensuated the fact. The first man standing slightly behind her was fairly short with blonde, almost brown, hair and a set of light blue eyes that could be both extremely warm and sincere or cold as winter steel depending on the company. He wore a pair of black slacks with leather dress shoes and a dark purple button up shirt with the top two left open. He gave off an air of nonchalance and carelessness, but with a distinct undertone of deadliness, like the woman. The last man stood to the left of the woman and was almost the opposite of the blonde. This man was balding with light brown hair and emotionless gray-blue eyes. He wore a black pinstriped double breasted suit, almost similar to Ianto's own, and corresponding tie with shining black leather dress shoes . His stance spoke of seriousness and business and he carried a locked brown briefcase in one hand. The group was, in reality, one of the most infamous trios in S.H.I.E.L.D. They were Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, and Phil Coulson, but more importantly they were Ianto's true family. Ianto sent a smile at them as he swung off his stool.  
"I knew you three would find me soon enough." Natasha and Clint snorted at the ridiculousness of the statement while Phil just rolled his eyes in amusement. Clint grinned, in a slightly maniacal manner, at the younger man and threw his arm around the Welshman's shoulder. Natasha smiled slightly and looped her arm through Ianto's other elbow. Ianto grinned in turn at the two agents standing next to him and then looked at the last man.  
"Hello, Tad."  
"Hello, Ianto. How are you?"  
Ianto shrugged as much as he could with two spies clinging to his sides,"Well, enough. Glad to be out of the living hell that is Torchwood 3."  
Phil tilted his head thoughtfully,"I understand, I really do," he paused considering his words,"I knew you weren't treated as well as you should have been, but we just received the surveillance tapes from your time there. By the way, your young computer technician friend was quite helpful in that respect."  
Ianto bristled at the statement,"She is not my friend, none of them are. She was just the most tolerable of the bunch," he paused,"She might have been a friend, had I stayed longer, but I didn't. My best choice to date, that."  
Phil shrugged,"It seems she's trying to redeem herself. Since she couldn't get in contact with you, she got through to S.H.I.E.L.D instead. She requested your e-mail and," Phil fiddled with his tie,"I might've sent it to her."  
Ianto exhaled resignedly,"Fine, whatever. Better her then Jack. I sent my e-mail to him through my old address."  
Coulson nodded,"Anyway, I looked through the surveillance, so did Fury and Clint and Natasha. I just have one question. Why the hell didn't you leave sooner? They didn't just treat you badly,they treated you like you were trash! You had the option to get out anytime, yet you didn't."Ianto didn't respond, he just looked at the ground, refusing to meet the eyes of his family. Then Phil raised an eyebrow,"It's because of Harkness isn't it?" Once again, Ianto didn't respond, but his eyes showed all.  
Natasha and Clint pulled away at the same time, each with a murderous expression on their face.  
"I'm going to pull out my best bow and then I'm going to have Stark make me a set of poison tipped arrows, and then I'm going to find Harkness and test them on him."  
"I'll come along and shoot out Cooper and Harper while you take care of Harkness. I'll leave Sato, since she wasn't as bad."  
Phil smirked slightly, "I'll hide the bodies and the Director will take care of the remaining evidence."  
Ianto looked tempted to laugh, but instead he frowned,"You will do no such thing! I'm out of there and its not worth it to try for revenge now." Clint scowled at him,"You were always to good to be in this line of work, Ianto."  
Natasha muttered 'agreed' under her breath while their handler looked close to scolding them both, but he obviously agreed.  
Phil finally sat down and so did the other 2 new comers. "Anyway, seeing as you will be working with S.H.I.E.L.D. again, I have all your new briefing material in here," he patted the briefcase at his side and slid it across the table to his son,"You'll be working with a team of 6, that I also happen to work with. They are headquartered in New York, which means you may have to travel occasionally, but not often. You will mainly be managing their social image, critics, public appearances, panels, and conferences. Much like the job you do for Mycroft." At this point Clint was grinning like a loon and Natasha was smiling like a shark. Ianto, however, looked paler then usual, as he paused, his fingers ready to open the locked case.  
"Oh hell no. I am not working with the avengers. I am not dealing with another crazy, hare brained bag of cats." Both Hawkeye and the Black Widow pouted at the comment, but the archer quickly brightened.  
"C'mon, Yan, it'll be fun! You get to work with us, just like old times," he tried to say it as sweetly as he could and looked at the Welshman through his eyelashes while Natasha batted her eyes. Ianto just stared unimpressed at the pair and opened the case sitting in front of him. His worst fears came true as there sat a set of 7 files within. On top was Tony Stark's, then Thor's, and that was the point when he knew this stint at S.H.I.E.L.D. would indeed be his most interesting one yet. His suspicions only grew as he looked through the information, he knew he had patience in spades, but he suspected this team would push it to the edge. Yet, he might just be looking forward to it.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---& Tosh smiled brightly as she looked at the response from Agent Coulson. She could actually try and fix her relationship with Ianto, she just needed to figure out how to start. She may not be able to give the address to Jack, as that was one of the stipulations, but that was OK. No matter how hard it was, she would do it. Lord knew Ianto deserved the efforts. She cracked her knuckles and started to type.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---& While Tosh was able to at least try, Jack was miserable and completely unable to do anything. Torchwood was a mess without the archivist. Everyone had to do their own paper work, which was a calamity. Before, Ianto had done all of it and it was done efficiently and submitted on time. All they had had to do was write the brief report summary and toss it to the Teaboy. Now, it wasn't done correctly half the time and what was correct was shoddy at best. Jack had done some paperwork before, but not too much. Now, he had stacks and stacks of corporate forms to fill out. It was his own personal hell. In addition to the paperwork issue, there were the archives. Ianto had finished reorganizing them before leaving, but he was no longer there to maintain them. The team had been able to navigate the alphabetized system, but were careless in regards to returning objects to their proper place. Now the archives were slowly returning to their former mess and were becoming harder and harder to search with each passing day.  
These were only a few administrative problems, but Jack was having personal ones of his own. It was too late to remedy now, but Jack really did have feelings for Jones, Ianto Jones. The young man was gorgeous, organized, witty, scarily intelligent, calm, and caring. Those were only a few of Ianto's attributes too. In essence, Ianto had balanced his slightly overzealous, charismatic, chaotic personality and acted as a grounding presence in his life. Now that he was gone, Jack felt erratic, down hearted, and flighty. Ianto had been a factor he had taken for granted in his life and he had become more then a friend with benefits. The archivist was his missing piece and now he was gone. Jack had been so worried about the factor his immortality brought that he had refused to let anybody into his heart. Ianto Homes had done just that though. That was when Jack had an epiphany. Jack Harkness might just possibly be falling in love or he might just maybe be actually in love with Jones, Ianto Jones. Theoretically, as the Captain with a notorious reputation for flirting and shagging anything that moved, he should've felt uncomfortable with the feeling, but instead he felt oddly content with the realization. Jack sat stricken at his desk for a moment, but that was also when he made up his mind. He would fix all the problems within their old relationship and treat Ianto like he deserved. He would find Ianto, no matter how long it took and win back the Welshman's heart. Jack just hoped he would have the chance, but, then again, the Captain wasn't one known to give up easily.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&


	2. What the Future Brings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto has been away from Torchwood for a year now. While Ianto thrives, Torchwood suffers the repercussions of their disregard for the Teaboy. Knowing the history of Ianto's past with the Cardiff team, his friends are on mission to protect him from further hurt. But what happens when Ianto's past and future collide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a complete AU from the Torchwood storyline and in this Cyberwoman never happened. Ianto's age is also slightly altered for the purposes of the storyline. Sadly, Skyfall,Sherlock,Torchwood, or the Avengers are not mine and never ever will be. I hope you enjoy & comments are always appreciated.

\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---& One Year Later  
Things had only gone downhill at Torchwood after Ianto left. The archives looked like a bomb had gone off in them. The paperwork situation was in a slightly better place, but not much. They were all  
in some state of caffeine withdrawal. They were so used to the ridiculously high standards of Ianto's coffee that they couldn't find its equal. They were currently surviving off the blends from a micro-brewery in Cardiff.  
Tosh missed Ianto desperately, but she had reached out with an e-mail and they had started to talk. She had apologized as best as she could without being face to face and Ianto had accepted graciously. She didn't know his current location, but he hadn't wanted to disclose it electronically and she respected his privacy. They had started to talk and she felt that she now knew Ianto at least a little better. He was ridiculously witty, even over e-mail, and observant of the undertones in her messages. He admitted to being very, very happy in his positions, which made her happy that he had left Torchwood 3 to get his happiness back. He had even acknowledged her as a friend of sorts and reluctantly admitted that he might see her soon. He didn't say where or why, but he said that if they did see each other then he would be willing to talk. She hadn't wanted to push, she hadn't and it had ended in the best result possible under the circumstances. Tosh was content with her situation and she hoped Ianto was still content in his.  
Jack also missed Ianto fervently, but unlike the tech genius he had no way to contact his former lover. He had searched everywhere for him, surveillance tapes, records, everything. He had tried to have Tosh hack into S.H.I.E.L.D and Mycroft's system, but she had refused, saying she respected Ianto's decisions too much to help Jack invade his privacy. He had asked Coulson and Holmes for the Teaboy's location, but they had both scoffed at his request and refused as well. Jack still maintained strong feelings for Jones, Ianto Jones, that only continued to grow in his absence. He reflected on his time with him and realized with dismay how badly he had treated the young man. He vowed to himself that if he ever saw Ianto again he would beg for his forgiveness and attempt to remedy the past wrongs on his part. In other words, Ianto was out of the Captain's reach and Jack couldn't do anything about it.  
Owen was regretful of his treatment of Jones and actually wished to apologize. As he grew guiltier his gruff disposition only grew sharper. He felt ashamed for being blind to Ianto's obvious injuries and wanted to revise his prejudged treatment of the archivist. The doctor hoped he would see Ianto again so he could ask for forgiveness, no matter how out of character it was for him. It was the right thing to do and what his Katie would've wanted him to do.  
Gwen, unlike her colleagues, felt no sense of regret. In fact, she had taken it as an opportunity. Now no one was in her way to get Jack. She had taken to wearing her tightest and most revealing clothing to work and she was sure that the Captain was in love with her, just denying his feelings. Even though he seemed to have not noticed her actions,she was sure the feelings existed.She still hadn't told Rhys about her affair with Owen or her plans to do with Jack and she never planned to. Once she had Jack, she would break it off with Rhys. She didn't miss Ianto Jones, former Torchwood teaboy, at all and she hoped to never see him again.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---& Ianto, unlike the majority of his former coworkers, couldn't have been happier. His jobs opened doors and offered further opportunity, not to mention that he was able to use his best skill sets. He was respected without question too. A notable difference from his time with Torchwood. Basically, the people were good and the pay was even better.  
Mycroft was a reasonable boss, despite what Q and Sherlock thought. He worked with Anthea much of the time, but he basically ran his own department. Ianto utilized his ability to manipulate, and controlled and filtered gossip, newspapers and blogs. He set up panels and conferences for Mycroft, so his boss could examine the political atmosphere. It was hard work, but it challenged him and made him think. His job allowed him to have flexible work hours, since he could do much of it from his mobile. This meant his employment with S.H.I.E.L.D. was pretty easily maintained.  
Now, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a very different working environment then Mycroft's White Hall Office. His duties were much the same as his other job, but the people were very different. Working with the Avengers was... Interesting to say the least. His father was easy to cooperate with, as they had very similar management styles. Nick knew him well, so there was no problem there. Maria Hill was a lovely woman and a talented agent, which made working with her a breeze. The Avengers themselves, however, were best described as... a quirky group. He had flown over to New York once to introduce himself and learn their limits as far as public engagements went. Ianto, of course, knew Natasha and Clint from years before, so he was used to their habits. When he made the two week trip, Clint had practically been attached to his side the whole time, while Natasha had only done that part of the time. The rest of the team though, he was unfamiliar with.  
Captain Steve Rogers or Captain America, was the generally accepted leader and military strategist of the group. Ianto and Steve got along phenomenally, sharing a dry sense of humor and bull headed stubbornness to save as many lives as possible, not to mention lost loves. Their friendship had started off polite and distant, but grew warmer as they got to know each other. They now talked quite often and Steve had taken to asking Ianto about the modern world, as opposed to Stark. He got actual honest answers from the U.K. correspondent, unlike the 'witty' answers from his teammates. Bruce Banner was another member of the team that Ianto got along well with. He was pleasant and accepting of everyone's quirks. He was curious and an amazing scientist, he was also fascinating to talk to. Banner had become a fast friend, but suffered because of the 'other guy.' He thought himself to be a monster, but the entirety of the Avengers had taken up the cause of proving that untrue to the brilliant gamma radiation expert. Ianto had jumped right on the bandwagon after he had found out. Thor, he didn't know well since he had only spoken to the Norse god of thunder for a few minutes, before he had to leave for Asgard again. Now, there was the subject of Tony Stark, or Iron Man, who was... Well... Best described as an arrogant, self centered, flirtatious, entitled, too smart for his own good asshole. However, upon further discussion, Ianto had discovered that the man had a genuinely good heart and always tried to make the right, moral decisions, no matter the consequences to himself. Once he had gotten to know Stark, Ianto found that he considered the billionaire a friend, in the oddest sense of the word. To Ianto's shock, he found working with the Avengers to be some of the most fun he'd had in a very long time, and he was totally OK with that.  
As far as his social situation went, he now had a large circle of friends from MI6, S.H.I.E.L.D., Mycroft's office, and the Avengers. When he had the time, which Mycroft allowed him consistently on weekends, he went out often and was able to reunite with friends he hadn't seen in years. After, the termination of his 'romantic' (in reality it had been all about sex) relationship with Jack, he hadn't had any long lasting romantic relationships since, not for lack of trying though, however not on his part. Natasha, Clint, James and Q were all for kick starting his love life. All of them had embraced his bisexuality whole heartedly. They took every opportunity to throw both men and women of every sort at him. James particularly enjoyed forcing Ianto on dates with the single Double-0 agents. His date with 003 had been entertaining, but his date with 006, Alec Trevelyan, had been particularly amusing. He had known the older man since his time as an agent, but had never known him very well. As this was the case, when they had met at the restaurant, they found that they got along very well and had much in common, but the date had ended with a kiss on the cheek and a budding friendship, as opposed to more dates. Q forced his favorite single minions upon him at every turn and Clint called in his favorite assassin friends at every opportunity. Natasha enjoyed throwing unsuspecting S.H.I.E.L.D agents and her assassin friends at him. All in all the affair was endlessly amusing on his end and although he wasn't interested in a relationship, he wasn't planning to stop his friends fruitless attempts, but only because the entertainment value was infinite. In other words, Ianto was thriving without the heavy load that Torchwood had forced on him.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
London, England  
Ianto sat on the loveseat in his flat, staring at the flat screen of his TV with a tablet at the ready. On the screen, the face of Tony Stark flitted back and forth as he moved erratically, like a hyper active 5 year old, back and forth, setting up the tech to his liking for the video call. Bruce sat in the background, rolling his eyes at his fellow 'science bro', as Stark liked to call them,as he waved in greeting to Ianto. The rest of the Avengers could be seen taking their seats around the conference table and calling out their own hellos to the Welshman. Stark finally took his own seat and clapped his hands together to signal the start of the conference.  
"I call this meeting of The Fellowship of the Ring to order," he said with a smirk on his face.  
Steve's brow wrinkled in confusion as he muttered,"I still don't understand that reference..." The rest of the heroes situated around the table just huffed or sighed in annoyance, while Thor just sent Ianto a bright smile as he took his seat. Ianto, himself sighed as he looked up from his tablet and placed it on the table.  
"Mr.Stark, just because you call Agent Barton Legolas and you call Agent Coulson Radagast does not mean you can call this the Fellowship."  
"Now, Ianto, Darling, don't forget that Director Fury is Gandalf, Natasha is Tauriel, Steve is Bilbo, Brucey is Smaug, and Thor is Aragorn. By the way, I've decided to call you Elrond and Loki, who you've never had the luck to meet, is Saruman."  
Ianto's eyes narrowed at the face of the billionaire on the screen,"Once again, I restate my point, you still can't call this the fellowship. And besides, Bilbo, Smaug and Radagast aren't even part of the fellowship, they're from the prequel, "The Hobbit." Tauriel isn't even a character in the books, she's a Peter Jackson creation." Ianto glared at the man before picking up his tablet again.  
On screen, Stark cackled with glee and rubbed his hands together,"No matter how hard you try to hide it, Mr.Jones, you're such a nerd at heart."  
Ianto just responded by saying,"Pot calling the kettle black." To which Tony pouted before turning on his Stark phone.  
In the background, Thor leaned over to Clint and Steve and asked,"Is this 'fellowship of the ring' a piece of your Midgardian 'pop culture'?"  
Steve just said,"Beats me." While Clint chuckled at the two men's obvious confusion and continued cluelessness.  
Everyone knew Ianto was ready when he coughed politely and looked up from the document he was working on. He then clasped his hands together and looked at the group on his TV screen, Stark TV screen of course. (Once Tony had met the mysterious UK correspondent and taken a liking to him, he had replaced all TVs, computers and other electronics with his own, far superior ones, within Ianto's flat.) They all settled down, almost immediately, and Captain Rogers nodded for him to begin.  
Ianto cleared his throat and spoke,"So, convention in New York in 3 days time. The convention is for secret protective, informational, or specialty organizations. You will be representing the Avengers Initiative and S.H.I.E.L.D. You will be holding multiple panels throughout the day. One is for press. The other two will be for our fellow organizations and visitors to the convention. Any limits for types of questions or anything else to do with the event, outside of your regular ones?" All the heroes shook their heads and Ianto nodded promptly and wrote something down.  
"Excellent. That will be all then." He leaned forward to press the end button, but Clint stopped him.  
"I just want to know, I never got to ask, what are the personal reasons you left Torchwood?"  
"Yeah, I'm curious too." Tony glanced up from his phone.  
Ianto looked at him shocked,"How do you know where I worked previously? That wasn't widely shared within S.H.I.E.L.D."  
He shrugged,"I hacked S.H.I.E.L.D. and after figuring it out, I hacked Torchwood 3, although it did take me 5 hours to access your records. Tell that computer tech, Toshiko Sato, that I'm impressed."  
The former Teaboy rolled his eyes,"Why am I surprised?"  
"I don't know, you really shouldn't be at this point."  
"Back to the question at hand," Clint glared at the Welshman.  
"Alright, alright, I left for a great number of reasons, but I was in a relationship with my boss, who didn't treat me well and regarded me as a 'fuck buddy' as opposed to a more serious relationship which I was looking for. I had had enough, so I ended it and left. This being along with all the other reasons you already know. Happy now?"  
Clint nodded and then paused, before asking,"Just a quick question what was his name?"  
"Captain Jack Harkness? Are you satisfied now? Barton, Stark?" One of the two men in question tipped his head.  
"Nope I'm not satisfied, just one more question, dear Jonesy. Will he be at the convention?"  
Ianto sighed, but said,"Yes, he will. Done now?" They nodded in response,"Excellent, then I will see all of you in three days." Ianto ended the call and picked up his tablet to set up the trip and finish scheduling.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
The Avengers Tower  
New York City, New York  
The entire Avengers Team sat around the table, ready to plan, as Tony and Clint announced at the same time,"Mission-"  
"Evade the Ex-"  
"Ianto Jones and the Bastard Boyfriend-"  
The two men looked at each other accusingly.  
Tony glared at Hawkeye,"I thought we agreed on a Harry Potter-ish name?"  
"We did not! It's long and annoying, mine is catchy, and it's alliteration, which is always a plus!"  
Natasha walked over and smacked both men on the head before they really started to bicker,"It doesn't matter, all that's important is the goal of the mission and in this case it's very simple. Keep Ianto away from the son of a bitch that broke his heart, at all costs. Use any method necessary, but don't let him hurt Ianto further."  
Steve nodded,"Alright then, let's get started."  
They all leaned forward as they began to plan the strategies and ideas to protect their friend from further heartbreak.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
MI6 Headquarters  
London, England  
As this meeting went down, another group sat around a clear glass desk covered in various deconstructed electronics. This group consisted of one quartermaster, one head of MI6, two Double-0 agents, one head of staff and one former field agent turned assistant.  
The two Double-0 agents, 006 and 007, sat next to each other, 007 with his arm around Q. Eve Moneypenny, Bill Tanner and Gareth Mallory, or M, sat on the other side of the table. They were discussing the same thing the Avengers were, the situation with Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness.  
"So, upcoming conference in New York, which Bond, Trevelyan and I are attending," Q gestured between the agents and himself,"We'll be representing MI6, but right now, that's besides the point. Our friend, Ianto Jones, will be attending as well, but his former boss and lover, Jack Harkness, will be there, they ended badly and Ianto was hurt terribly by the relationship itself. Due to these factors, Ianto must avoid Captain Harkness at all costs, this is all unbeknownst to him, but I suspect he will avoiding him actively himself. This plan must succeed, so Ianto won't have his heart broken again. God knows he's gone through enough," the others nodded solemnly in agreement.  
"Alec and myself have been brainstorming a list of diversion and distraction tactics," James said as 006 smiled in acknowledgement.  
"I've made a list of people at the conference who know our dear Mr.Jones and are willing to help. They also, may or may not, have romantic interest in him,"Eve said with a smirk,"So Ianto won't even think about that damned Captain."  
M smiled in satisfaction but then looked contemplative,"Just what does your brother think of this, Q? Because surely he knows."  
Q rolled his eyes,"Of course, he knows, was that ever a question? Besides, he's completely on board with it. He even has suggestions for methods to try."  
Eve, Alec and James cackled with absolute glee, while Q, Tanner and M just smirked.  
"Mission: Romance Relapse is go."  
M rolled his eyes,"And that Miss.Moneypenny is why you aren't allowed to decide code names."  
They all smiled again and started their work.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
Cardiff,Wales  
Torchwood 3 HUB  
Jack sat before his computer, scrolling aimlessly through his e-mails, which showed how truly bored he was. All his paper work was done, all reports were filed and the rift was disturbingly quiet. Tosh had checked the Rift Predictor and had informed him that it was to remain that way for another week and a half. He was just considering reorganizing the archives, which was ridiculous, seeing as Jack wasn't in any way orderly at all. The Captain had just started spinning in his chair, when his e-mail chimed. He stopped the chair and turned to view the monitor.  
He clicked into the new tab to view the message which had peaked his curiosity. It was from an old friend and colleague of his, Alistair Stewart Lethbridge. The header read,"Inter-Agency Conference," and its contents were rather important, judging by the urgency with which it had been sent. It read:  
"Captain Harkness,  
I apologize for such short notice, but I feel secure in the fact that you will be able to accomplish the necessary goals. In 3 days time there will be a conference in New York, where agencies specializing in intelligence, security, government, and oddities will all attend and discuss international affairs. Some of these agencies include S.H.I.E.L.D., MI6, the Avengers Initiative, NCIS, UNIT, the Whitehall government office, among other ones. As you can see, UNIT is attending, which means Torchwood is also required to represent. It would be ideal to have your whole team there, as they all have different specialties, but if that is not possible, that's all right. I hope to see you soon.  
Sincerely,  
General Alistair Stewart Lethbridge"

Jack had read the entire e-mail and he understood that attendance was mandatory, but only a few things stood out to him. All three agencies that Ianto was associated were attending, which meant that there was a very high possibility of his former lover being there. This brightened his prospects and caused him to bounce from his chair and down the steps.  
His hopeful grin only got wider as he bounded down the steps, calling,"Team meeting!!!", out over the HUB. It was the first time the team had seen this particular expressions of Jack's, a true smile, since over a year back, before a certain Ianto Jones had left.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
THREE DAYS LATER  
New York City, New York  
Convention Center  
Ianto stood in the room where all the meetings would take place, surveying his surroundings. He was contemplating how he wanted to set up the Avengers panels, when he felt an arm wrap around his waist, one on each side and a heavy sigh from behind. On the left stood MI6's Agent 007, James Bond, and on his right, Agent 006, Alec Trevelyan, each favoring him with a mischievous crooked grin. He turned his head to look behind him and saw Q standing there looking like the classic image of a frustrated parent. This caused him to break into a small, but fond, smile.  
"Agents 006 and 007, Q, a pleasure as always."  
Alec pouted at him,"I expected a warmer greeting, darling."  
"As did I, what? No hello kiss?"  
"You know, as well as I do, Bond, that Q would kill me."  
"True, indeed, I would. And wouldn't that be such a shame? I do so enjoy your company, Mr.Jones."  
"And I yours, Mr.Holmes." This was when all in his company finally got what they wanted, a genuine smile, which in turn made them smile, as Ianto gave Q a hug. "Either way, I'm glad you 3 could make it."  
Q eyed him skeptically,"Could?"  
"Pardon my mistake, I'm glad M forced you to go."  
"Much more accurate."  
"Anyway, at least I know this endeavor will be entertaining. I have to represent Mycroft's Whitehall Offices and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s UK branch. Oh yes, by the way, Q, Mycroft won't be here for the convention, as he's attending a vitally important meeting elsewhere."  
"Thank god. I don't have to deal with the arrogant sot till Christmas."  
Ianto rolled his eyes,"Either way he sends his regards and, as ever, reminds you to behave."  
This caused Quentin to snort in irritation,"In what ways do I not behave?"  
James rested his chin on his fist,"In what ways does Q not behave? Oh, let me count the ways..."  
The Quartermaster smacked his partner upside the head, while the other agent snickered at the hilarity. At the man's laughter, Quentin shot him a withering glare, which quieted him instantly. This made Ianto chuckle, which made them all laugh in turn.  
When they all regained their composure, Q turned to his best friend and asked,"So who's attending?"  
"Well, UNIT, MI6, obviously, the Whitehall Offices, NCIS,among other ones are sending people. The Avengers are also coming, which is why I'm here now, setting up their panels, and then S.H.I.E.L.D. Is sending general representatives-"  
Just as Ianto was about to continue, the doors opened and a large group entered the room and calls of-  
"Yanny boy-"  
"Jonesy-"  
"Agent Jones-"  
"Mr.Jones-"  
"Yan-"  
"Ianto-"  
"Son of Jones-"  
-Among others could be heard in the rabble. Ianto exhaled in preparation and put his face in his hand.  
"Speak of the devils and they shall appear..."  
"Now, Dear, is that anyway to talk about your favorite group of heroes?"Tony Stark appeared at his side and batted his eyelashes and the Welshman.  
Ianto just shook the cocky billionaire off his arm and muttered,"I should be the one considered the hero, seeing as I have to deal with all of you."  
Hawkeye looked affronted and said as much,"Is that anyway to talk about your favorite archer?" Meanwhile Coulson could be heard on the background mumbling,"Hear, hear," in response.  
Steve stepped forward at that point,"Agent Jones," he said and held out his hand, while smiling shyly, with that genuinely kind quality that charmed everyone. Ianto just smiled warmly at the Captain and said,"Steve, you know you can call me Ianto."  
"I know", Steve said as he laughed in relief, as he wasn't sure how Ianto regarded him, and hugged the correspondent. Ianto then turned to the Black Widow and smiled brightly as he pulled her into a hug which she gladly returned.  
"Hello, Natasha."  
"Hi, Yan."  
After friendly greetings were exchanged, James,Alec,Tony and Clint could be seen pouting mutinously.  
"I don't know about you, but I feel deprived," James said as he turned to Alec, who nodded in agreement as he sulked.  
"Same here, man," Tony said to the agent, while ignoring Barton who was acting like a six year, trying to get Ianto's attention.  
James turned to the unknown person and asked,"And who might you two be?"  
Tony held out his hand and gave 007 a crooked grin,"Tony Stark,resident billionaire,genius,playboy,philanthropist and Ironman, also the proud bane of Jonesy's existence and a member of the Avengers."  
"Clint Barton, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., A member of the Avengers, the best archer you'll ever have the pleasure to meet, and Hawkeye. And you two?"  
"Agent of MI6, James Bond, also an annoyance to Ianto."  
"Also an Agent of MI6 and irritant to our darling Mr.Jones, Alec Trevelyan."  
At this point everyone had taken note of the introductions and were now paying attention.  
Q looked on at the four men,"Are we introducing ourselves now? Very well, Q, member of MI6 and technological expert and inventor." Tony's interest peaked at the mention of a fellow technology addict and grinned madly at the young Brit.  
"Natasha Romanov, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, hand to hand combat expert, Russian trained spy,the Black Widow and a member of the Avengers." Alec looked more carefully at the redhead based on her introduction.  
"Bruce Banner, Gamma Radiation expert, scientist, and member of the Avengers."  
"Steve Rogers, soldier, Captain America, member of S.H.I.E.L.D., and member of the Avengers."  
"Thor Odinson, God of Thunder, son of Odin and Avenger." Q jumped at the volume of the demigod's voice, which in turn made Ianto snicker and Quentin glare.  
"Agent Phil Coulson, member of S.H.I.E.L.D and current wrangler of the Avengers."  
After the hellos were said and done, Ianto clapped his hands together and said,"Alright,now that that's done, I actually need to work out your panel," he looked pointedly at the Avengers,"And all of you need the folder with orientation material, which is in the lobby, so off you go. Tad, I need you to stay here to help me organize,"Phil nodded,"Alright now, the rest of you, out." He made a shooing motion with his hands, which prompted the rest to leave. Ianto then turned to his father,"Let's get to work."  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
The remaining group stood in the lobby, gathered in a large clump. Q stood in the middle so he could speak to the entire gathering at once.  
"So you all consider yourselves friends of Ianto's?" They nodded. "But, what I need to know is whether you know about the actual circumstances as to why he left his job?"  
Natasha rolled her eyes,"Of course, bastard ex by the name of Jack Harkness breaks his heart and treats him like garbage. Their relationship was rocky from the start, but it only got worse. It went on until it began to complicate their work, which is against all Ianto's morals, so he left Torchwood." All the Avengers nodded in agreement.  
Quentin looked pleased, but slightly worried,"Excellent, I don't have to update you all. But still, how did you know that he worked at Torchwood?"  
Tony shrugged,"I hacked two systems of two secret organisations. No big deal."  
Nat and Clint sighed, looking bored,"We knew about it even before the fall of Torchwood 1, he worked at S.H.I.E.L.D with us before he transferred."  
The people from MI6 looked slightly appeased,"So do you plan to do anything about keeping Harkness away from him?"  
Steve sniffed, as if offended,"Of course, just because most of us haven't known him as long, doesn't mean that we think he should have his heart broken again. So, yes, we have strategies in place to keep Jack away."  
James nodded,"Excellent, and we have ours, so, main goal, interference between unnecessary interaction at all costs." They all agreed and went their separate ways, ready to stop a specific unworthy suitors.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
New York City, New York  
John F. Kennedy International Airport  
Jack, Owen, Tosh, and Gwen landed in New York the night before the conference started. When Jack had announced the trip, the group grumbled, but once they found out it was mandatory and that the tickets were already booked, they knew it was in vain. Once they hit the Tarmac and had passed security and customs, Owen had started bitching about Americans, Gwen was complaining about the flight, and Tosh was falling asleep on her tablet. Jack, on the other hand, was wide awake. His mind was buzzing with the hope of seeing Jones, Ianto Jones again. The captain missed him desperately and prayed to whatever god was merciful that he could make up all his past mistakes with their relationship. Ianto deserved the best and this time, Jack wanted nothing more then to be the one to get to give it to him. He just hoped that forgiveness was in the future.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
The Torchwood team sat around a table in the hotel picking at their breakfast. Each of them had had at least 2 cups of coffee, but they were still about to fall face first in their plates, except for Jack. But then again, that was one of the pluses of being immortal, no jet lag and no problem with lack of sleep. Jack was looking at the schedule for the first day of panels and meetings.  
"So, we start off with a meet and greet session in the morning, then we split up. Gwen, you're going to an personal interactions seminar. Owen, you're going to a forensic and medical sciences program. Tosh, you're going to a tech and gadgets workshop. I'll be attending a meeting for the leaders and representatives."  
"But,Jack, I'm your second in command. Why aren't I going to the meeting with you?" Gwen whined while sticking her lip out.  
Jack sighed, he had gotten used to this kind of behavior from Gwen,along with the endless flirting and tight clothing, when her constant complaining and whining reached a new height, any attraction he had had to her in the past had vanished entirely. Besides, his heart still belonged entirely to the archivist. As time passed, his affection had only grown stronger. His reflections on memories with his former lover had only grown sweeter and occurred more often. Jack grieved the wrongs he had committed to the younger man, and had decided that if he ever had the chance of rekindling the relationship then he would more or less court Ianto properly. Now that the chance was looking him in the face he was more determined then ever and wanted a relationship with no one,but Ianto. This meant he also had to inform Gwen of his disinterest in any of her advances, not to mention the truth of who was second in command.  
"The reason you're not going with me to the meeting is because you are NOT second in command. And even if you were you wouldn't be able to attend, as it's just for the heads of attending organizations, or their representatives in turn."  
"But, Jack, you hired me to replace Suzie and she was your second! That means-" Jack cut her off.  
"It means nothing, you are the newest of us at Torchwood which means you are last in line to lead. Why you thought that you were my second is beyond me. Toshiko is my second in command. I trust her implicitly to make the right, responsible decisions," Tosh blushed under the unexpected praise, while Owen looked at her a little surprised and with something like new found respect,"Now, that matter is closed." Gwen attempted to speak, but Jack continued,"Now, secondly, you are a married woman to a devoted man who loves you without restraint, while you cheat behind his back and chase after every man you desire. This being, namely, myself. Any feelings you might harbor for me are unrequited and any seduction you might have planned in the future, I am not interested, so, stop. Rhys deserves better then you," Jack looked at her with disgust and disdain as he pulled away from the breakfast table and strode off to his room.  
Gwen sat frozen in place for a long moment, before she jumped up from her chair, as if electrocuted, and bolted out of the room, accompanied by the desperate call of,"Jack! Jack! Wait!"  
Owen looked surprised for a mere second, before rolling his eyes,"The bitch doesn't give up,does she?"  
Tosh sighed,"That she doesn't," as she rested her cheek on her hand and looked in the direction Gwen had exited. Tosh knew that Jack still only wanted Ianto, but she feared that he would be hurt again in a relationship with the Captain. Over e-mail, the former Teaboy had shared the reasons why he left Torchwood and she completely understood. However, Tosh couldn't help but hope that they might talk things out and start on the road to a long lasting romance. Both men deserved it, but the tech genius wasn't sure Jack deserved Ianto. Either way, she shook her head, this was bound to be an interesting conference.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
At the meet and greet session, Jack saw Ianto nowhere, but he was determined not to lose hope. His maintained optimism was duly rewarded though, when he saw him at the executives meeting. The room was set up with a large circular table in the center with chairs all around and a projector and screen at the front of the hall. In front of each chair was a nameplate with the representative's name and organization. Jack found his seat next to Alistair, who he hadn't seen in quite awhile. They started talking about this and that, about work and various alien situations, but that conversation skidded to an abrupt halt when the Captain turned toward the door and his breath hitched. All Jack could do was stare enraptured as Ianto walked into the room. The former Torchwood agent had his hair neatly trimmed and styled and wore a beautifully tailored black pin striped suit with a scarlet shirt and dark red, almost black, tie underneath with shining black leather dress shoes. He, in fact, looked far happier and healthier then he ever had at Torchwood 3. Ianto strolled through the doorway surrounded by three men. Jack only recognized one of them as being Agent Phil Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D, also Ianto's father. The other two were unfamiliar to him. One of them was a tall young man, about Ianto's age and height, with green eyes hidden behind large glasses, a head of chaotic dark brown curls and lily white skin. He wore a large, disturbing ugly mustard brown cardigan with a white button up and black tie underneath and black skinny slacks. He was standing quite close to the archivist and talking to him. The unknown man leaned closer to Ianto and said something that made him bark out a laugh and send a genuine smile to his companion, which he gladly returned. The other man was the perfect example of what male perfection should be. He had a nicely muscled upper body and strong legs with golden blonde hair, styled like he was from the 40's, and bright blue eyes. He stood slightly taller then the Teaboy, but was standing just as close and responded to the brunette on Ianto's other side with something that only made his love laugh harder and beam at the blonde. Phil just smiled a little as he walked a little farther from them and chuckled at his son's laughter. Jealously boiled inside Jack, but he knew he had no right to be envious of Ianto's companions, when the reasons that his relationship had ended were all his fault. Jack stared longingly after Jones, Ianto Jones and resolved to find and talk to him after this meeting was over. For some reason he had a rather foreboding feeling about approaching his former employee with the people surrounding him, but Jack was determined and would not be deterred from his purpose. Alistair stared oddly at his old friend, but just shook his head, used to the madness that surrounded Captain Jack Harkness.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
Ianto took his seat between Quentin and Steve, with Phil on Steve's other side.  
Once they were settled, Q leaned over to him and muttered,"How many of these executives do you think haven't gotten laid in at least a year?"  
This caused Ianto to laugh in surprise, but he only laughed harder when Steve said,"I can't prove it, but I would bet around 90%."  
"Ah, Captain, not as innocent as they think?" The Quartermaster raised an eyebrow, to which Steve responded when he quirked a grin in the younger man's direction. Phil rolled his eyes, but smiled indulgently at the trio. Ianto went to take a drink of water and observed the room as he sipped. He was about to put his glass down when he saw something that almost made him drop it. Sitting across the table was the man he dreaded to see, Jack Harkness. Jack was looking at him continuously with blue eyes bright and hopeful. He blanched at the look being sent his way and cast his eyes down cast to avoid further eye contact. He blanked his face into a completely neutral mask and pretended not to have noticed the Captain at all. He hoped no one had noticed his mood change, but he knew they had when all three leaned toward him. Phil touched his wrist in worry.  
"You all right?"  
"I'm fine," he muttered, barely above a whisper.  
"Are you sure? You look pale," Steve's brow furrowed in concern.  
"Yeah, I'm sure."  
Meanwhile, Q observed the room and saw the source of Ianto's panic. It was the very man they were all making sure Ianto avoided at all costs. He pulled out his phone and texted James and Alec.

To: James Bond, Alec Trevelyan  
From: Q  
Harkness spotted. He's in the executives meeting and is attempting to maintain eye contact with Ianto. Be ready for a diversion post-meeting.

To: Q  
From: James Bond  
Got it. Contacting others for further support.

To: Q  
From: Alec Trevelyan  
On it. Will contact later.

Q nodded, put his phone away, and turned his attention to the meeting. Meanwhile...

To: Tony Stark, Bruce Banner  
From: James Bond  
Harkness is in the same meeting as Jones and looks to be trying to get his attention. Prepare distraction.

To: James Bond  
From: Tony Stark  
Science Bros is a go!

To: James Bond  
From: Bruce Banner  
Tony and I are working on it. Thanks for the warning.

James smirked and slid his phone into his pocket. At the same time...

To: Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov  
From: Alec Trevelyan  
Harkness in Ianto's vicinity. Prepare for diversion.

To: Alec Trevelyan  
From: Natasha Romanov  
We're on it.

To: Alec Trevelyan  
From: Clint Barton  
Hawk has left the roost! Swooping in.

To: Clint Barton  
From: Alec Trevelyan  
What the hell does that even mean?!

Alec got no response to that one, but he shrugged and stowed his phone away and started to walk, looking for his comrades in mischief. Meanwhile, Steve got a text...

To: Steve Rogers  
From: Tony Stark  
Hey, Spangles, you see Harkness?

Steve scanned along the table until he saw the man that fit the name.

To: Tony Stark  
From: Steve Rogers  
Yes. Is that Ianto's ex? Because he keeps looking at Jones.

To: Steve Rogers  
From: Tony Stark  
Indeed it is, Cap'n! Keep an eye on him during the meeting, we're setting up diversions and distractions for through out the day.

To: Tony Stark  
From: Steve Rogers  
Duly noted. I'll keep watch. Text later. 

Steve put his phone in the pocket of his jacket and turned to look at Ianto, who still looked rather pale. Even more worrying was the blank neutral mask he wore, which meant he was ready to defend himself. However, this time, Ianto wasn't alone. This time, he had a team of spies and super heroes backing him up and there was no way he was getting hurt again. Not on their watch.


	3. When Past and Present Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything collides and Ianto, as always, is stuck in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not and never will own Torchwood, The Avengers, James Bond, or Sherlock.   
> Sorry this update took so long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments are always appreciated.

In short, this is what the various nefarious schemes of everyone involved included, in no particular order. Clint pulled Ianto up into the ducts of the convention center by descending from the ceiling when Gwen and Jack tried to corner Ianto together. James and Alec set up various distractions, which may or may not have included stealing all the vodka and whiskey for the gala that was scheduled later, when Owen tried to confront Ianto far too gruffly and of course only Ianto could attend to a catastrophe like that. They then may have taken that stolen alcohol, collected Tony, Clint, and Natasha and proceeded to drink every single drop of it, getting staggeringly drunk, and causing more trouble then Ianto, Q, or Phil could possibly imagine.  
Tony's excuse for the incident went something along the lines of,"Well, at least we didn't drink ALL the alcohol." To which Ianto responded with a glare that would've chilled anyone to the bone.  
The only consolation that Phil and Ianto had was that this happened after the scheduled panels and everyone involved, except for Natasha, woke up with an awful hangover. While drunk, Tony hacked into the conventions database and changed every PowerPoint to all the memes from the last five years. Fortunately Q fixed that one before it went seriously bad. Natasha and Clint may have trapped Gwen in an empty conference room and given her a shovel talk that was slightly more threatening then previously planned. James may have pulled Ianto aside to philosophize about Q's many amazing qualities, which included many graphic descriptions of his many skills and kinks in and out of the bedroom. These distractions helped Ianto avoid his former team for about half of the second day, then Steve and Bruce took over the second half of the day. Steve pulled the classic "I'm a 95 year old 27 year old and I'm sad and confused" act, pulling Ianto aside to ask about the tech of the conference. Ianto, being the kind soul that he was, was only too happy to oblige. Bruce, also being genuinely curious, asked Ianto about his job and his educational background and the business side of managing the Avengers.  
While this was going on, Owen, Jack, and Gwen were totally baffled as to why they were never able to have an actual conversation with their former Teaboy, seeing as he was always being pulled away to attend to his other duties. Q, however, realized that three quarters of the Torchwood team would start to catch on, so he called in the ultimate reinforcement, in the form of his older brother, Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock, being surprisingly protective of Ianto, came right away, or fast as you could on a transatlantic flight from London to New York, bringing along his companion, Dr. John Watson, and the dominatrix he didn't want there, Irene Adler. Ianto was easily swayed to believe that they were actually there for the conference. The trio stirred a whole ruckus by themselves with no problem. John, knowing Ianto from working with MI6, pulled a few tricks out of his sleeve, sabotaging catering with the help of the highly destructive consulting detective and creating a whole slew of issues that took Ianto hours to deal with. Sherlock and John had to be reprimanded for snogging purposely in hilariously public places, which set Q laughing off his arse. Irene just watched bemusedly from the sidelines, waiting to threaten Jack with castration using a rusty kitchen knife when the opportunity arose. Everything was going fine until all groups involved converged into a single conference room where the Torchwood team was practically interrogating Ianto, except for Tosh who was pleading with them to stop. Everyone looked at each other, realizing they were all present which was unplanned. That was when Ianto started laughing... Uproariously.  
He had tears running down his face when he finally choked out,"Oh my god! All of you thought I couldn't protect myself from these asses, oh my god..." And that's when he dissolved into full blown hysterics sliding down the wall, while the Avengers, MI6 crew, and consulting detective and company looked shocked and appalled, while the Captain of the Torchwood 3 team looked similarly appalled, but also a tad bit irked.  
"YOU KNEW?"  
"YOU WERE AVOIDING US?!"  
"Yes and well, I had an inkling..."  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
"So let me get this straight. You, Q, called in your second oldest brother, and you, Sherlock, after receiving said phone call, called in a dominatrix and dragged your long-suffering companion along for the trip?" Ianto stood at the front of the room, tapping his foot in a steady rhythm. Sherlock pouted mutinously, but mumbled a quiet and disgruntled,"obviously," anyway. The aforementioned dominatrix strutted forward on her 5 inch stilettos and stopped behind Ianto, dragging a finger slowly across the elegant line of his shoulders. Leaning her head so her lips rested near his ear, she started to speak.  
"Now that's not entirely true, my dear Ianto. I was already visiting the boys on Baker Street, but when I heard that they were coming over to deal with something pertaining to you, I got curious," she shrugged, resting the free hand that wasn't on his shoulder on his waist,"When I heard that Watson and Holmes were stopping one of your exes who was undeserving of you from restarting a relationship, I insisted upon coming along. You know how dear to me you are, Darling." Ianto smiled at her nonchalant, but, oddly, kind words. He turned in her grip to face her, placing both hands on her hips.  
"It's lovely to see you, Irene."  
From the background Sherlock squawked indignantly.  
"You know her?!"  
Not another word was spoken between the two, they just smiled fondly at each other for a moment, before Ianto tipped Irene back gracefully to give her a long kiss on the lips, which became significantly longer when Irene shoved her tongue into Ianto's willing mouth. The onlooking crowd held a wide range of reactions. Natasha, Clint, James, Alec and Q looked unsurprised. Phil looked vaguely disgruntled at seeing his son make out intimately in front of him, while Steve just looked slightly uncomfortable, as did Bruce, unused to such public displays of affection. Sherlock looked extraordinarily bored and John appeared vaguely interested, but equally unsurprised by the proceedings. Tony had gained an odd glint in his eye, which foreshadowed a disastrous event, probably in the near future. Meanwhile, the Torchwood team was flabbergasted. Owen and Gwen were gaping like fish, while Jack's eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates and his mouth held the shape of an 'O'. Tosh was the only one who wasn't shocked, having a small smile on her face.  
Irene and Ianto pulled out of their kiss, both looking entirely unflustered. In the midst of their impromptu make out session, the door had opened without anyone noticing.  
"Well, isn't that a lovely sight to see upon first entering a room," an Irish accented voice drawled from the doorway. Upon hearing said voice, Ianto's face lit up and he turned to look at the man.  
"Jim!" And at Ianto's genuine exclamation of happiness, a small smile appeared on the face of one Jim Moriarty.  
"Ianto, sweetheart! I'm so glad to see you. I'm surrounded by attractive, but heavily armed idiots at this god-forsaken conference and there's no intelligent conversation to be found! That is until I saw your gorgeous face, how I have missed it. Though I do have to say," the former consulting criminal looked contemplative,"Your arse looks better in leather pants." And on that note Jim tipped the former Teaboy back, like Ianto had Irene, and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Though I do have to admit, you look delectable in a suit."  
Ianto chuckled, placing an arm around Moriarty's waist,"That's great because I was wondering if you could get me discounts at those bespoke tailors you like? Hm?"  
The former consulting criminal beamed at the younger man,"Of course, darling! Anything for you." Giving Ianto a final peck on the lips before going to join Irene.  
Sherlock could be heard muttering under his breath,"Of course Ianto knows him. Undercover operation for MI6 solo, infiltrated his highest circle, had an affair and Jim liked him to much to kill him... Wait..." Then Sherlock turned abruptly to face the consulting criminal turned multi- agency correspondent,"Are you friends?"  
"Of course! Ianto's such a sweetheart with a pretty face, how could I possibly kill him?! Look at those doe eyes and tell me that, even as the most powerful criminal in Europe, you could do that!"  
From the front of the room, Ianto pretended to swoon while holding an expression so innocent that it looked as though butter couldn't melt on his tongue,"Dear Jim, couldn't you fix this for me?"  
Moriarty snickered and then added,"Not to mention he's an absolute vixen in bed!"  
And then to the horror of Phil Coulson and confusion of Jack Harkness; Q, Irene, Steve, John, Natasha, Clint, James, and Alec all said,"Amen to that," at once. And Jack couldn't wait any longer."  
"I thought I was your first male lover!"  
Ianto smiled smugly at Jack and chirped back,"Nope!"  
Q turned to the captain and smirked,"That I took care of in uni! We were the youngest people on campus, already bored, both of us being geniuses, so what else to do? Plus, we were already best friends so no hard feelings involved."  
James spoke up from his place beside Q,"Whenever there was a man who was gay or bisexual that needed to be seduced for a mission at MI6, Ianto always took on those targets." Alec nodded in agreement.  
John agreed contemplatively," They wanted to recruit me so they sent Ianto. I worked at MI6 for three years before going on tour in Iraq with my medical degree and gun. The sex with Ianto is what persuaded me."  
"MI6 wanted to recruit me too. It didn't work, but, holy hell, the sex was amazing even though I much prefer women. Ianto is so skilled, in that regard I could make an exception." Irene purred at Ianto who only smirked back.  
Natasha shrugged,"Ianto, Clint and I had a threesome once. Ianto is excellent." Steve was the only who hadn't spoken yet, but Tony spoke up for him.  
"Ianto Jones, are you saying you deflowered a national icon?! And beside that you refused me when I propositioned you!"  
Ianto sighed, trying to preserve his patience,"I did not deflower a national icon! He was far from a virgin in the first place, you dumb arse! And I refused you because I didn't want to have sex with you." Tony ignored the last part of that statement, in favour of gaping at Captain America. He ran forward to poke Steve in the chest.  
"Are you saying Ianto didn't take your virginity?"  
"No," Steve rolled his eyes,"Far from it actually. Bucky took care of that somewhere around 1938. Anyway, we were in a recession, we needed to pay rent somehow and I couldn't work. How do you think I contributed? People had sex in the 40's too, Tony."  
Tony had a look of dawning horror on his face,"Oh my god! Steven Grant Rogers, did you sell yourself?" Steve just smirked in reply,"Oh my god! My childhood is ruined!"  
Under his breath, Steve muttered,"It was the only way a bisexual guy could get 'acceptable' sex in those days." Ianto just patted his shoulder, consoling him. And as the tension of the room diffused just slightly, a blond, arrogant asshole factor ramped it up again.  
"Eye-candy! Good to see ya! Still a hot piece I see and a bit of a slag, I hear? Well bless my heart! I never would have-" But con man and former time agent John Hart didn't get to continue his heckling of Ianto, as said Teaboy kicked him where it really hurt with scarily direct force, sending the criminal to his knees and clutching his groin. Natasha, Clint and Phil hissed in the background, ready to help Ianto quarter him at any moment. James and Q looked ready for bloodshed. The Torchwood team winced in sympathy for John Hart, until they heard what Ianto said.  
Having kicked him to the ground, Ianto crouched down next to Hart, using a voice low enough that the others had to strain to hear him.  
"I swear to god, John Hart, the next time you call me eye-candy you will wake up in a ditch in the 14th century in Siberia, without your wrist strap. The last time someone called me eye-candy was my bastard stepfather at the age of 16 before beating the shit out of me, selling me for my body and forcing me into prostitution. I got him back for that one by the time I was 18, with the skills of a street fighter. As I recall he lost the use of his genitals for the remaining portion of his life. Now, being a highly trained agent I could do worlds worse to you, without any regret. So, next time you ever call me that blasted term you better fucking run, John Hart, because I don't give head starts to my targets."  
Ianto stood, brushing the imaginary dirt off his slacks, leaving a pale and shaking John Hart on the ground. The Teaboy looked put upon and sighed impatiently, checking his watch. "Well, I don't have anymore meetings to attend, and I don't have anymore patience to deal with the stupidity of other agencies, so I'm going back to the tower. No, Tony, you still have to attend the Stark Industries panel. Hey, Q, Steve, you want to go watch Game of Thrones with me? I haven't watched season 4 yet."  
Q fist pumped,"Hell yes I do! Can we take the modified jaguar back to the tower?" Ianto grinned wickedly and nodded his consent. Steve shrugged.  
"Sure, why not? I don't have anything else today."  
"Excellent!" Ianto gave them each a genuine smile, before walking out of the room with his companions. Ianto called over his shoulder before leaving,"All of you are welcome to come by later! But if any of you skip ANYTHING I will hunt you down."  
Tony whined,"C'mon, Jones! That's my tower your inviting these people to! Not yours." Ianto gave the genius a dead pan look until he threw up his hands,"Fine! Come by later! See what I care!"  
Ianto smiled sweetly,"Excellent!" Then left with Steve and Q.  
With the absence of Ianto, everyone remaining turned to face the Torchwood team with uncontrolled rage and hatred. Natasha had begun cleaning her nails with a small dagger and Moriarty was playing with a modified to be deadly Swiss Army knife.  
However, even through all the tension, Owen could only say,"Holy shit, I don't want to get on Ianto's bad side!"  
Jack was still staring slack jawed at the place Ianto had once stood and Gwen looked terrified. Tosh could only be mortified by that revelation of their former Teaboy's past. In that awkward silence, a slow, vaguely terrifying smile bloomed on Coulson's face.  
"So let's begin, shall we? Let's start with everything you did to my son in his time at Torchwood 3. Captain Harkness, why don't you begin?"  
And Jack realized he would be unable to defend himself against Ianto's highly skilled, protective, superhero, secret agent, assassin,military, and detective family. Torchwood 3 was doomed.


	4. The Present is a Gift... For Some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto gets his groove on and proceeds to scare the shit out of Torchwood 3, while everyone watches on in well warranted amusement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own and never will own Torchwood, The Avengers, James Bond/Skyfall, and Sherlock. I know this update is short (Sorry!),but I hope you enjoy it. Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

By the time everyone returned, they found Ianto, Q, and Steve sitting on the couch on the communal floor of the tower marathoning Game of Thrones in flannel lounge pants and t-shirts. Ianto and Q were giggling hysterically over something on the quartermaster's laptop screen, while Steve was sketching in the arm chair. Ianto's phone was vibrating on the table, but he seemed to be ignoring it, in favor of his best friend and HBO programming. As everyone exited the elevator, Ianto's expression brightened even further, as he turned to look at Tony. He tilted his head and looked at the billionaire from under his eyelashes.  
"Tony? You know that rapier I requested awhile ago."  
The genius in question looked put upon, but equally fond. "Yes, I do remember the saber you asked for."  
"Is there any chance it's ready? You know I don't ask for much..."  
Tony sighed and rolled his eyes,"First of all, I bought you the Jaguar F-Type. In fact, two of them. One for here and one for London."  
"I didn't ask for that! You bought them for me! Which was lovely, thank you."  
"Fine! Yes it's ready," Ianto beamed, which made Tony grin in turn,"And I made you four instead of one. Two replicas based on the Princess Bride and two inspired by the weapon style on Game of Thrones." Ianto clapped delightedly like a five year old on Christmas, smiling blindingly at the group, but his expression soured when he saw the Torchwood team. He pouted mutinously, looking simultaneously adorable and terrifying at the same time.  
"Why are they here? I left because of them! I didn't want to see them in... Let's see... How about never?"  
Natasha wrapped an arm around his shoulders,"I understand your warranted hatred of those bastards, but we already interrogated them and we thought you might want a chance! That's all, дорогая." Ianto sniffed, sulking slightly.  
"Fine. I'll do it later, I don't feel like it now. However," Ianto grinned ferally,"If they want to see how good I am with knives they're perfectly welcome to!" Ianto turned back to Q,"Hey, you want to go down and train? I sharpened my knives yesterday and I have an extra set! Then we can try those rapiers, hmm?"  
Q grinned,"Sounds excellent, we'll go change and then get started!" They strode off toward the elevator, but Ianto slowed enough to whisper in Tosh's ear,"Lovely to see you, Toshiko Sato." Tosh smiled softly over her shoulder at her former colleague. Her other three teammates looked accusingly at her, but she ignored them, in favor of basking in Ianto's already there forgiveness. Tony followed the two younger men, going to fetch the four swords for them.  
Jack could only stare longingly after his former lover.  
"Is Ianto always like that?"  
Coulson smiled in faux innocence,"What? Fairly normal at least for an agent, sociable, friendly, addicted to television, and really fucking deadly? Yes, Captain Harkness, he is genuinely like that. And you almost destroyed that."  
Moriarty scowled,"All Ianto needs to live is fantasy literature and film-"  
Irene picked up for him,"High quality firearms-"  
John continued,"A sharp and readily available throwing knife-"  
"Expensive clothing and shoes-"  
"Copious amounts of caffeine-"  
"And a really deadly group of friends who will destroy anyone who hurts a single hair on his pretty little head," Moriarty grinned triumphantly, as Irene stepped forwards and whispered in Jack's ear.  
"And you know who doesn't fit into any of those categories? You."  
The large group of Ianto's really scary family grinned at the Torchwood 3 team.  
Clint was bouncing on his toes like a toddler,"Come on, I want to get down to the gym! I still haven't figured out Ianto is that good with knives!" Hawkeye raced to the elevator setting the example for everyone else. Steve got up from his arm chair to follow.  
Coulson called over his shoulder just before he got into the elevator,"If you want to join us, Captain, we'll be on the 51st floor. Miss. Sato would you like to join us?"  
Tosh looked delighted, but sheepish,"If it's not a problem?"  
James grinned,"Not at all, Toshiko!"  
Alec added, with a well placed glare at the remaining Torchwood 3 members,"After all, you're the only one who gave Ianto at least a little bit of respect."  
And on that enlightening note the elevator door closed.  
Owen gaped at the steel doors,"Holy shit, Ianto isn't only an agent himself, but his family and friends are fucking terrifying! It'll be a miracle if we make it out of here alive!"  
Jack nodded morosely in agreement.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
When the team reached the gym, they entered just in time to here a knife embed itself in a target. The gym was split in thirds it seemed. One third a target range, another third a regular, if outrageously well-equipped, gym, and the last third some sort of obstacle course. Everyone was currently in the target range, watching Ianto and Q throw knives, which almost hit the exact center every time. Moriarty and Irene were goading Ianto on, while James and Alec taunted Q and Sherlock cackled to the side.  
Ianto's jeering squad was throwing insults around like it was their living.  
"Come on, darling! I've seen you hit closer to center half asleep, that's pathetic."  
"Ianto, are you sure you're trying? You're not even intoxicated or poisoned and I've seen you hit more accurately then!"  
"I'm not impressed yet. I thought you said you were going to give us a show."  
Their goading caused Ianto to throw a blade in the tiny space between their heads without nicking even their ears. The two former criminals clapped accordingly.  
Ianto grinned condescendingly,"I'm only warming up."  
Q was growing equally frustrated by the two 00 agents.  
"Q, I know you said age is no sign of competence, but I'm not sure I agree with that statement."  
"Jesus Christ,Q, I know you're young and pretty and technologically capable, but do you have any fight in you?"  
A millisecond later, both Alec and James had a throwing knife mere centimeters above their heads. In response, they high-fived and crowed excitedly.  
Alec bounced on his heels excitedly,"That's the closest you've come to harming us, dear Quartermaster!"  
James just strode forward, wrapped an arm around Q's tiny waist and proceeded to kiss him breathless, so much so that Q wrapped his arms around the agents neck, knife still in his grip. They paid no mind to their audience.  
Tosh fanned herself from next to Irene,"Holy shit, that's hot!" Her teammates looked at her in shock, she shrugged,"What?! I appreciate beauty in all forms. And it's not like I didn't see the surveillance footage of you and Ianto, Captain!" She grinned wickedly.  
Ianto called from the other side of the gym, ignoring the scene in front of him,"I'm glad I could could contribute to your pleasure, Tosh!" He winked conspiratorially.  
Meanwhile, Jim hummed in agreement, while staring blatantly at the couple, with Tosh's statement,"I couldn't agree more with you, Miss. Sato." Sherlock sent a disgusted sneer toward his former enemy.  
John smirked at the former criminal,"So true,so true." Sherlock looked betrayed at his partner,"What?! He's right." The detective harrumphed.  
Irene looked admiringly down at the tech genius,"I think I like you, Miss. Sato. What are you into?"  
Tosh smirked lewdly,"Many things, Miss. Adler, many things." The two women grinned dangerously at each other.  
Owen sneered at the two couples,"Jesus Christ, get a room. The sexual tension in here is-HOLY SHIT!" Owen was cut off by a knife landing on each side of his head, centimeters from his ears, and multiple bullet holes near his hands and groin. When he was able to steady his breath again, he turned to survey the room. Q and Bond were still making out passionately, only the knife that had been in Q's hand was gone and Bond was tucking a hand gun into his waistband. John was also stowing a gun away, as were Jim and Natasha.  
Ianto just smiled sunnily at the medic,"You were saying, Owen?"  
"I-I-"  
"Just remember, Owen Harper, you're still on my blacklist." Ianto turned away to examine the rapiers Tony had set out. "These are beautiful, Tony!"  
"Aw, babe, you don't have to flatter me! Although compliments are always welcome, as well as something else... Hm?" The billionaire winked at the Welshman.  
Ianto gave him a flat look,"Tantalizing, but no."  
"Ah well! I had to try. My hopes are dashed, but I'll survive."  
"Excellent, Stark. Now down to business because I'm bored as hell and I think I'll kill Q and James if they decide to fuck right here." He strode forward carrying the rapier modeled off of Inigo Montoya's from "The Princess Bride." He poked the quartermaster in the back,"Come on,Q! You can shag 007 later. You promised me we could fence!"  
Q pulled away from the agent to whisper something in his ear, at which Bond brightened visibly and kissed him on the cheek before going to stand next to Alec.  
006 looked disgruntled, muttering,"Why is everyone at MI6 getting laid, but me?"  
James shrugged,"Why don't you ask Eve?" Alec glared at his friend before crossing his arms across his chest to sulk. Meanwhile, Q had picked up the rapier modeled after Wesley's as the man in black.  
"Alright, Jones, you ready to get your arse kicked?"  
"By the likes of you, Quartermaster? Never."  
They bowed as a sign of respect to the other and then metal hit metal. Jack boggled at the supposedly meek Teaboy battling it out with actual swords. The fight looked almost choreographed, familiar, as if the two knew each other's styles so well that they didn't have to think.  
Clint called out to the two,"Hey! Why does this look so fucking choreographed?"  
Ianto responded, not pausing in his duel,"Because it's the actual fight scene from "The Princess Bride", you dumbass! Q and I have been working on it for ages now."  
Clint squealed,"Oh my god, this is so cool! Can I be Buttercup?"  
"No!"  
Q continued with his back to the archer,"Besides, James would be Buttercup!"  
Said agent galled,"Why me?!"  
Q smiled over his shoulder,"Because you're so pretty, darling! You would be even prettier if you returned any of my tech."  
007 scoffed,"Like that would ever happen!"  
Ianto scowled at the agent from over his shoulder,"Shut up, you great oaf! I'm trying to concentrate." He looked like he was putting in very little effort.  
"C'mon, Ianto! Put up a little fight."  
"Only if you do,Q!"  
They continued on this way for sometime, until Ianto ended on his knees, rapier on the ground, with Q standing over him. The Teaboy stood after holding that position for a moment.  
Moriarty called out from the sidelines,"C'mon, Jones! You can stay on your knees for longer then that!" The former consulting criminal leered in his direction.  
The Welshman smiled wickedly,"That, you'll have to pay me for, Mr. Moriarty!" The two cackled in tandem.  
As Ianto went to stand, his phone rang, blasting a rather obnoxious 8-Bit version of "Secret Agent Man." He sighed and went to pick up the call,"Hello, Nick Fury, dearest, darling-est godfather. What can I do for you today?" Ianto hummed thoughtfully,"So you're not forcing me to babysit the Fantastic Four? Because I kind of despise Richards and the last time I saw Storm I almost poisoned him out of pure spite." Then he smiles,"Oh, I haven't seen Charles in ages! Do I get to hang out with the brats too? Yeah? Sure I'll go down to Westchester! Yep-Bye, Nick!" He closed the call and smiled maliciously at the Avengers,"Guess who's going to hang out with a superhero group he likes more then Earth's Mightiest Heroes? Well, other then Steve and Natasha."  
Clint looked affronted,"Hey! What gives, knife boy?! I thought you liked me best!"  
Tony scowled,"I swear to fucking god, Jones, if you say that it's you and you're going to meet Charles and his mutants I'm going to take away your Jaguars!"  
"Well, I am going to see the X-Men on behalf of SHIELD. Firstly, they don't give me grey hairs, like some other people I know... Secondly, Charles and his people are darling and thirdly, you can't take away my Jaguars!"  
"What?! Why the hell not?!"  
"Q fixed the door handles to only open to my palm print and anyone I permit in. FYI, you're not one of them." He smiled over at his shoulder at the quartermaster, who waved back.  
"I bought those cars for you!"  
"Yes. Your point being what?"  
Tony didn't dignify a response, he only flipped Ianto off.  
"On that lovely note, children, behave. I don't honestly give a fuck what you do, but if it gets charged to my bank account I'll hunt you all down! I'm going to change out of these into something more comfortable for Westchester and then I'm out. All of you who aren't avengers, make yourselves at home in Stark Tower. I have permission from Miss.Potts. Oh, and, Steve? Charles wants to meet you! Meet you at the lobby in-" he considered his watch,"Half an hour?"  
Steve nodded, going to exit the gym. Tony was texting frantically in the background, evidently to complain to Pepper.  
Ianto passed Gwen, hearing her mutter a nasty,"What? You haven't shagged all the X-Men too?"  
He couldn't resist a response,"I wouldn't talk, Miss.Cooper, seeing as who you like to engage in steamy torrid affairs with. By the way, Jack, Tosh, Owen, Gwen?" Jack could only stare, as this was the first Ianto had addressed him by name the entire conference. "Meet me at noon in Jack's Bistro in Greenwich Village. Tosh I'll e-mail you the address. Ta!"  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&


	5. A Storied Past and A Tabloid-Filled Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the world finally acknowledges Steve's membership in the LGBTQ+ community and Torchwood 3 gets the shock of a lifetime as they discover Ianto's rather storied past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always Torchwood, James Bond/Skyfall, The Avengers, and Sherlock do not and never will belong to me. This chapter features a brief cameo from other fandom characters and, such as is the case, Inception does not belong to me either. These brief cameos may continue through the rest of the story, but I haven't decided yet. I know this chapter is rather short, but I will try to update more frequently, I promise! Please kudos, bookmark, comment etc. Enjoy! *By the way, if you don't like Gwen Bashing be warned! This chapter may not be for you.*

Ianto arrived promptly at noon, strolling through the doors of the bistro like he had walked off the cover of a casual issue of GQ. He wore a pair of dark denim skinny jeans paired with doc martens and a black leather aviator jacket over a white v-neck t-shirt. His aviator sunglasses sat primly on his nose and his hair, for once, wasn't slicked back, hanging in his face in swept over side bangs. Ianto looked his age, a shocking and slightly mind-blowing experience for Torchwood 3. Their former Teaboy lowered his glasses, scanned the room, eyes finally alighting on them. He tucked the shades into the collar of his t-shirt, before strolling over and pulling out the empty chair next to Tosh, to sit down, crossing his ankles. He picked up the menu while taking a sip of water.  
Without looking up from the menu, he spoke to the entire team,"The crepes are quite good here, as well as the French toast." There was an awkward silence following Ianto's outburst. He sighed placing the menu back on the table. "So, questions. Who wants to start?"  
"Your file indicated that you might have faced abuse as a child. Is that true?" Tosh was obviously reluctant, scrambling to be as polite as possible,"I mean, if it's too private you are in no way obliged to answer-"  
Ianto stopped her rambling by holding up his hand. He rewarded the genius with a small smile for her curtesy. "Delving into the deep end first question, are we?" Tosh blushed bright red, opening her mouth to apologize, but Ianto stopped her once again."I admit, I questioned putting that in the information I revealed to you, but, well... I decided for it. I was abused from a young age. Yes, verbal, physical and sexual once I hit 16."  
While the Torchwood team sat in awkward silence, trying to pull themselves together enough to ask the questions that begged answers, chaos reigned in the Avengers Tower.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&  
At about 9 in the morning, Tony slid into the communal kitchen, wearing track pants, a grease covered white tank top and socks. Now this, in itself, wasn't unusual, but what was both terrifying and worrying was the fact that he was holding a tablet and cackling madly.  
Clint, who was barely awake and drinking directly from the coffee pot, turned to observe this with bleary eyes and a raised eyebrow. "Have you finally accepted your path as an evil scientist? Or have you just accepted the fact that you're a madman?"  
Tony clutched his chest in affront,"Pardon you! I'm quite sane and non-evilicious, well relatively... Brucey Bear is counseling me and listening to my woes!"  
Bruce sighed,"Technically I'm not actually that type of doctor."  
The billionaire flapped his hands dismissively,"Irrelevant! Anyway, read this! Look at it and join me in my laughter." He slid the tablet across the table to Clint, who's brow furrowed for a moment before he started to grin.  
"Oh this is gold! Can I have this printed and framed for posterity? I want it hanging on my wall forever." Bruce looked over the archer's shoulder, curious as to what he was talking about. Then he raised an eyebrow in Tony's direction. The headline read,"Cap's New Boy Toy: Is Steve Rogers GAY?" A blurry picture of Ianto and Steve sitting and laughing in a black convertible, with Steve's hand on Ianto's thigh while Ianto drove sat below the header.  
"What?! Pepper makes me scan the tabloids! Don't give me that scandalised look. And Steve needed a way to come out anyway."  
Bruce conceded the point, "True enough, however, Steve's bisexual, not gay. A few days back though, he did mention coming out soon. He should probably talk to Pepper about that."  
Tony flapped his hand again,"Yeah, yeah, I'll ask Pepper to talk to him, later. But I want to know what Ianto and Steve will say to this!"  
Clint smiled,"Much like his father before him, Ianto doesn't give a flying fuck about gossip. I imagine Steve feels much the same way, going by his reaction to his other tabloid appearances. Actually I expect them to try to give the reporters a much more explicit picture just for kicks. Ianto will be disappointed."  
At that moment, Steve walked into the kitchen, shrugged off his jacket, grabbed an apple and sat down at the table.  
"What would Ianto be disappointed at?" Clint slid the paper to him and he picked it up, considering the cover. Then, Steve shrugged. "Well, now I have a reason to have a press conference to come out as bisexual."  
Tony nodded,"Pepper says she'll talk to you tomorrow."  
"Great, anyway, I'm disappointed at the quality of this photo. I thought 21st century photography was supposed to be better. I'm going to text Ianto to see if we can go out tomorrow to give them a better shot." He pulled out his phone and started texting at the speed of any modern adult. He snapped a picture of the magazine cover with ease and kept typing.  
Tony stared calculatingly at the leader of the avengers. "I thought you were completely incompetent with technology!"  
Steve rolled his eyes,"Why would you think that? You know I figured out Hydra technology without much assistance in the 1940's. Smart phones are child's play." Then the captain grinned wickedly,"Plus, it's really fun to mess with you. You may be a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, but you're really oblivious sometimes."  
Tony threw his hands up in frustration. "You star-spangled piece of shit! You've been trolling me this entire time?!"  
"Yep and whatever I couldn't figure out, which wasn't much, I asked Ianto."  
"Oh my god! You're supposed to be the physical incarnation of truth, justice, the bald eagle and apple pie, not a lying liar who lies!"  
Steve was still grinning but he sighed anyway,"Go to bed,Tony. Maybe when you wake up this won't have happened."  
"God I hope so," and the genius started to stumble out of the kitchen,but he, then, turned around slowly, narrowing his eyes at his teammates. "Was he doing this to any of you?"  
Bruce and Clint gave the inventor the butter-couldn't-melt expression, "No, Tony."  
He glared at all 3 of them, flipped them off, and left them with the touching parting words,"Fuck you, Captain Liar-Pants!"  
And, just to piss him off more, Steve called to Tony's retreating back,"Not your best insult to date,Tin Man!"  
A shout of anger could be heard down the hall.  
\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---&\---  
Back at the bistro, the awkward aura surrounding the Torchwood team's misdeeds was still palpable in the air. Jack was next to approach a question.  
"So is Rhiannon your real sister?"  
"Technically half sister, different father, but I consider her a sister. Her and I get along well enough most of the time."  
Owen ventured into the breach next,"When did you work for MI-6 and S.H.I.E.L.D respectively?"  
"I worked for MI-6 part time as a Double-O agent starting at the age of 19, while I went through university, then went full time at 22. I was, am, the youngest recorded field agent on record, with Q being the youngest quartermaster ever. While I part-timed as an agent, he was training with Boothroyd, the old Q, and became R after graduating uni. I left MI-6 and transferred to S.H.I.E.L.D's London office when I was 24 and was put in as a liaison to Mycroft, who then hired me,on a separate basis, to manage his public affairs. I stayed on with SHIELD while working with Mr. Holmes. I then left from Mycroft's office and went deep cover at Torchwood 1 for SHIELD."  
"Wait, wait. Were you under cover while working at Torchwood 3?"  
Ianto sighed,"No, Jack. I terminated my employment with SHIELD after you hired me post-Canary Wharf and continued to work with Torchwood. Though that may not have been in my best interest." And on that remark, Owen and Jack, who did not know the feeling of shame, shifted guiltily in their seats, while Tosh's face colored red. Gwen, unlike her coworkers, looked unashamed at her actions as she inspected her nails. "That's my current employment history. Though I've worked with other teams and agencies on different missions."  
Jack tilted his head curiously,"Who do you know?"  
Ianto looked contemplative,"Let's see, and I may miss a few... Gibbs' team at NCIS, Sam and Dean Winchester on multiple occasions, before they got involved with all that's holy, Dom Cobb's dream sharing team, the X-Men and a bunch of others I'm not recalling at the moment."  
Gwen tittered under her breath and smirked cruelly at him,"And, what? Did you fuck all of them too?" Owen and Tosh scowled disgustedly at their overly entitled teammate, while Jack looked appalled at her outburst. She shrugged,"What? He probably did. He's probably just too ashamed to admit it."  
Ianto leaned across the table and a lewd grin crossed his features."Not by a mile, Cooper. And, funnily enough, you're not that far off. Are you that curious, Gwen?"  
She raised a challenging eyebrow,"Yep."  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah, Jones. I am."  
Ianto shrugged and leaned back, grin still on his face,"It's well enough, I'm not that secretive about my sex life. I've slept with Dean and Sam Winchester, separately on two different occasions, Ziva David and Tony DiNozzo from NCIS. Possibly Tim too... I had a threesome with Arthur and Eames from Cobb's team, and Ariadne too, separately though. And to keep it short, I've slept with a large majority of the current X-Men, both male and female."  
Jack blinked slowly, rather like a confused owlet, but Owen jumped the bait first.  
"Wow! Really."  
"All true, I promise."  
"I can't deny it, Jones. I'm impressed."  
Ianto couldn't help but smile at Owen's, although crude, comment. Gwen, however couldn't stand the thought of Ianto gaining even a bit of respect from his former coworkers.  
She huffed indignantly,"I don't believe it."  
Ianto started to smile,"Would you like some form of proof?"  
"Yes. But what the hell kind of proof can you get to prove your sexual history? Huh, Teaboy?" She crossed her arms and smirked victoriously.  
"I can call one of my past partners," he paused,"Not all of them though, because I have no idea where a few of them are."  
Gwen's lip twisted in a rather ugly fashion,"Call. Them," then she muttered under her breath,"You little piece of shit."  
The entire Torchwood team looked appalled and taken aback. Tosh smacked Gwen across the face, which left a ringing silence in the otherwise empty cafe.  
Owen scowled in disappointment,"You're being such an ass, Gwen. I thought you were supposed to be the heart of Torchwood!"  
Jack looked to be floundering for some form of apology,"Ianto, if you don't want to call, its fine! I mean-I-I mean it's not neccasary! At all! Really-" A tangible layer of panic was evident in Jack's eyes.  
To everyone's surprise though, Ianto looked thoroughly unperturbed, waving all of it off,"Trust me, I've been called worse. And I honestly don't mind." Then he shrugged,"It'll be worth it for the disdain on Miss.Cooper's face. Any preference for who I call? The only ones which are an absolute no are the Winchesters. For all I know they could be facing off against a demon or a douchebag of an angel right now." Owen let out a huff of laughter. "That's actually not a joke." The doctor looked rather shell shocked. "I don't know why you're so surprised. You deal with aliens and their artefacts from a very active foreign energy source for a living. Anyway, you already know about my past dalliances with agents of MI-6, SHIELD, and the Avengers, so it's not worth calling one of them. Hmmm... I'll call Arthur, who is guaranteed to be with Eames. Likely, in Mombasa I would think. They're actually together now! They pulled their heads out of their arses after I left."  
Gwen smirked,"So what? People realise you're easy, then kick you out and end up with someone of actual quality?"  
He turned to Gwen with an equally challenging smirk on his face,"Quite the opposite! I like to think I bring people together and I've done it many times in the past for other couples, including Q and James. At least to a point. Anyway, back on subject, is that agreeable to you, Miss.Cooper?"  
She sniffed in disdain,"I think you're just stalling, Ianto. But what the hell?"  
"Excellent! Then, let's see if I can get a hold of them. Arthur will be more likely to pick up." Ianto pulled his custom silver Stark Phone and tapped a few times. "Would you like video chat?"  
Gwen tilted her head,"Sure why the hell not? Your claims are ridiculous enough already."  
Ianto tapped at the screen a few more times before holding it up at face height. The screen remained blank for a moment, before the faces of two men appeared. One was ruggedly handsome with a sharp jawline, grey eyes and dark blonde hair, sporting a hideously patterned collared shirt. The other had neatly combed black hair, brown eyes and narrow features, wearing an immaculately tailored white button up and silvery grey waistcoat.  
The blonde man spoke first, with a British accent no less, beaming at the former Teaboy,"Hello, Ianto darling!"  
"Jesus Christ, Eames, could that shirt be any uglier? I think my eyes are burning just looking at it."  
"You could always take it off me, you know what's underneath. I'm sure Arthur would be happy to join us again. Lord knows we had such fun last time."  
The dark haired man on the screen sighed and shook his head,"Eames, though I do love you in the romantic sense, as a person, most of the time, you're a complete and utter ass."  
Eames looked taken aback,"I'm hurt, Arthur dear!"  
"Also, I can't help but agree with Ianto. That shirt is god awful."  
"I thought you said it was alright this morning!"  
"I'm desensitized to your clothing, Eames. That doesn't mean I still don't think it's hideous."  
Eames scowled,"Maybe I'll just invite Ianto over and not invite you!" He studied the Teaboy,"Where did you say you were? I'll fly over there. Arthur is insulting me."  
Ianto heaved a put upon sigh,"I didn't say where I was, but I'm in New York for an inter-agency conference. I would not suggest flying over now. However, if you AND Arthur," Ianto raised an eyebrow as Eames pouted,"wish to come up to London, that would be lovely."  
Both men on the call brightened at that. Eames especially.  
Eames looked longingly at Ianto,"So there's still hope for part two of that threesome?"  
Ianto curled his lip in an involuntary smile,"We'll see, Eames, we'll see. By the way, Arthur, do whatever you need to to dispose of the ugliest parts of his wardrobe. I'll look at the catalogues of the most recent runway shows and send you my picks."  
Arthur grinned,"Sounds great! Even better, I'll meet up with you in London and we'll go shopping."  
"Are you two highjacking my wardrobe?! Stop that no-"  
"Goodbye,Ianto!"  
"Goodbye, Arthur. Goodbye, Eames." Ianto disconnected the call and turned to look at Gwen. "Is that proof enough, Ms.Cooper?"  
The former copper didn't even respond, as she floundered to answer, opening and closing her mouth like a fish trying to take in air.  
Ianto smirked.  
"I'll take that as a yes." Then the Teaboy's phone buzzed and when Ianto looked at the screen, he cackled delightedly,"Ooo, look! Steve and I made the tabloids!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do comment, kudos, etc! I really do appreciate your comments. I will try to update both of my stories soon. Thank you!


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